Pinky and the Brain: The Movie
by PinkyandtheBrainfan88
Summary: This is a Pinky and the Brain movie script I've finished writing.  The FINAL VERSION has at last been completed!  :D  I really hope you enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Pinky and the Brain: the Movie**

Introduction: This film is based on the series of "Pinky and the Brain" and so may be confusing for those who are not very familiar with the series/most of the series. I hope you enjoy this and please comment, I need constructive criticism!

_For those who read this before the Big Edit, I used to have a Cast here, but I have now removed it. Firstly, it was not correct and it was merely my first idea for the cast. Secondly, if I have a new version here then it might give away spoilers for future readers._

**Part 1**

_(A black screen with white writing appears.)_

**1993.**

**A young mouse and a young hamster have recently been involved in**

**an experiment called PROJECT B.R.A.I.N.**

_(Another black screen with white text comes up.)_

**The expected results of this experiment: Both test subjects would**

**become more intelligent and their brain capacities would enlargen.**

_(A third dark screen with white writing appears.)_

**The actual results of this experiment: Both test subjects showed no**

**difference in IQ or brain capacity after they had gone through a gene**

**splicer designed for the experiment. $3 million were wasted, the**

**experiment did not work.**

_(One last black screen with white text comes up.)_

**Or did it?**

_(Film opens in Acme Labs. Camera tilts up to cage and we see it is open. Camera moves to left and we see a young hamster and a young albino mouse talking.)_

**Brain:** (Smiling) It's wonderful being intelligent. Why, the world is at our paw-tips! We can do _anything_!

**Snowball:** Indeed. Indeed, we can do anything. Dr Mordough has provided us with the best gift in the world, our _brains_. (Clasps Brain by the shoulders, a sly glint in his eye.) Why, imagine Brain, we could even...

**Brain:** We could even _what_ Snowball?

**Snowball:** We could even… Take over the world…

_(Brain looks quizzically at his friend, Snowball steps back, rubbing his hands with excitement at his new ambitious plan.)_

**Brain:** Take over the world? Hmmm… I'd never thought about doing that before, Snowball.

**Snowball:** But think, Brain. Imagine if we ruled the world… We'd be RICH. We'd be _flexanimous_. We'd be in control of every mouse, every hamster, _every human being_. If we decided we didn't like a law, we could change it at the snap of a paw. If we wanted a thousand private jets, or all the cheese in the world, we'd get them at virtually a moment's notice. Everyone would _BOW_ before us. Images of us would be everywhere, people would come and kiss our feet and want to do everything for us. How would you like that, Brain?

_(Pause. A sneaky, characteristic smile appears on Brain's face)_

**Brain:** Yes! Wait, no, there are many complications in this plan. Snowball, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

**Snowball:** Yes. (He grimaces) It's all about the how. The idea is simple, but the execution… Yes, there lies the difficulty, there lies the genius.

**Brain:** I couldn't agree more. But let us not dwell on this, my friend! Let us start making plans! Do you have any ideas?

_(They pause, pondering.)_

**Snowball:** Yes! (He looks slyly out of a window in the lab to the night sky.)

**Brain:** (excitedly) What is it?

**Snowball:** It's a full moon tomorrow night and you know what humans are like about the full moon. _So_ superstitious, _so_ scary. (Wiggles fingers) Woooooo!

_(Brain laughs playfully and jumps back, eagerly continuing to listen.)_

**Snowball:** We will spread a message that says… CERN have discovered that UFOs will appear when the full moon is out, throughout the world. The appealing lie will mean every human will be too distracted, looking at the sky, to notice a mouse and a hamster seizing control of the planet!

**Brain:** My, your plan seems full-proof. Let me write some equations and do some planning to see how we will carry it out. We'll have less than twenty-four hours until our country experiences the glory of the full moon, so we have to be very quick. (Whips up a sheet of blue paper and grabs a pen.) How will we send the message?

**Snowball:** Through verbal means, Brain, such as the word of mouth itself and the use of the _telephone_. We cannot get to every part of the world to spread the message, so we will send calls to random people in other nations who will then spread on the message themselves. Once a piece of news is heard by a human being, it spreads like _wildfire_.

**Brain:** But surely not everyone will be able to receive the message within 24 hours? How could gossip travel around that fast? It doesn't match my equations. (Shows Snowball a few diagrams and maths equations, Snowball studies these with a worried expression on his face.) And also, what about those who don't have telephones _and_ don't live in the United States of America? I'm willing to try, Snowball, but don't feel _too_ downhearted if we have to try this again.

**Snowball:** Ah indeed, but how many things in life do people have to retry to get right? Just about EVERYTHING! We can TRY and TRY again if this does not work out the first time. And there always has to be a first time, so we might as well as not start here.

_(Brain, who has had his charismatic serious expression on his face for the last few speeches, suddenly smiles again.)_

**Brain:** I agree. And who knows, maybe before the full moon is down tomorrow, we will have begun our positions as Overlords on our wonderful Earth. (Smiles and looks away.)

**Snowball:** (under his breath and looking away as well) Hmm hmm, _wonderful_ you say, Brain? Yes… It will be wonderful once _I_ have assumed _total control_…

_(Camera fades and when it next focuses we see that it is daytime. Snowball and Brain, who are looking a bit more tired and irritable, have several pages of notes in front of them.)_

**Snowball:** Well, that's fifty people in Australia who I've called and fifty people in India who I've called. Let's say that every one of those people tells three other people about the UFO sightings. Then we've made sure 300 people across the world know about our plans.

_(Brain's ears droop and he sighs and grimaces.)_

**Brain:** Only 300? And in 3 hours? Let's hope that the word of mouth proves more useful. (Brain stands up and slings over a small bag on his shoulder, full of leaflets he has been writing about the UFO landings) Are you ready to leave, Snowball?

**Snowball:** (Smiling slightly) Yes, I'm ready. Let's go.

_(We see Brain and Snowball walking out of Acme Labs, the music becomes dramatic and the camera fades to black.)_


	2. Chapter 2

**Pinky and the Brain: The Movie (Part 2):**

_(The camera focuses on the entrance of Acme Labs from the inside. We see Snowball and the Brain walking in, looking sad and dejected. Brain's ears are drooping and Snowball's back is hunched.)_

**Brain:** Well, we clearly didn't tell enough people. Even Bill Clinton didn't know about the UFO's!

**Snowball:** Indeed, he did not…

_(We see flashback. We see the President's Office and Brain and Snowball, who have just arrived through the ventilation grating and look shocked as they realize Bill Clinton is not looking up to see the UFO's during the full moon. He notices the newcomers and walks over to them.)_

**Bill Clinton:** Hey fellas. You're very tiny, ain't ya? How'd you get in here? (Walks over and bends down.)

_(Both Brain and Snowball stutter. Snowball clears his throat and speaks first.)_

**Snowball:** Excuse us, Mr President, it seems we took a wrong turn at Alberqueque. Won't happen again. Come, Brain, we must go back to the lab and prepare for tomorrow night.

_(The two walk off towards the ventilation grate, Bill Clinton stands there, realizing just how odd this situation has been.)_

**Brain:** What are we going to do tomorrow night, Snowball?

**Snowball:** The same thing we tried to do tonight, Brain. Try to take over the world!

**Brain:** Oh, of course!

_(The camera goes blurry as the flashback ends. We see Brain and Snowball walking back in silence. The camera then cuts to an image of the calendar on the wall of Acme Labs. We see the days go by on the calendar and in between each day change, we see scenes where Brain and Snowball write more plans, exit Acme Labs and look irritated as they gaze at globes and maps. We then see one more new date come up and then we see Brain and Snowball, who are clearly much older and crosser, especially in Snowball's case. Snowball gives an evil smile.)_

**Snowball: ** (Condescendingly) Now Brain, how would we raise money for the rocket?

**Brain:** (Ponderingly) There are many ways as we both well know, Snowball. Start a business as young entrepreneurs, dress up as women and become attractive models and make thousands of dollars… Why act as if I wouldn't know? (Starts to glare at Snowball.)

**Snowball:** You know your problem, Brain?

**Brain:** _What,_ Snowball?

**Snowball:** You're just too _good_. You're not forceful enough. There are so many of my cash-procuring schemes you've just dismissed, that would work _so_ well.

**Brain:** Yes, but why would we want to fake ourselves as the richest men in the world and buy all the banks? That leaves so many people without money and it's just… Too greedy. Same as robbing a bank. That's not only unoriginal and dangerous, but just plain nasty.

**Snowball:** But Brain, trying to take over the world _is_ greedy.

_(Brain looks sheepish and pauses, pondering.)_

**Brain:** Yes, but there are ways of becoming Overlord without harming others along the way. When I rule the world, I will make sure that everyone is happy with me as their Leader and that everyone is treated the way they should be.

**Snowball:** (pauses with surprise, then raises his voice in anger) When _you_ rule the world? When _YOU_ rule the world? Haha, no Brain, I think it will either be _me,_ or _us together_ who will end up taking over planet earth.

_(Brain looks up in shock.)_

**Brain:** But… I… OK, I was just getting excited, Snowball. No need to become defensive.

**Snowball:** I'll bet you practically think of earth as your own, don't you Brain?

**Brain:** No, of course not. It's so far from my grasp – and yet – it's all I dream about. It's _everything_.

**Snowball:** What about me? I thought you worshipped _me?_

**Brain:** (Pauses, then glares as he speaks.) I no longer _worship_ you Snowball. We're different rodents now, with different minds. How can you expect me to _totally_ respect you if we both have the same goal to individually be Overlord of the world? You show so much _Schadenfreude!_

**Snowball:** (Almost shaking with irritation) You say you do not _totally respect_ me. Do you respect me _at all_, Brain?

**Brain:** Y – Yes. Of course I do… (Shuffles feet)

_(Snowball glares judgingly at Brain, then grabs a pencil and bashes him on the head with it. Brain's head whirls and he collapses dazed on the work-surface. Snowball walks around him and peers down at Brain's face, with an angry expression.)_

**Snowball:** You don't respect me at all anymore, do you Brain? How does this make me feel? After all I've _done_ for you! I've taught you Brain! I am your role model, because of me you are all that you are now. And after all my kindly effort for you, you start to disagree with my views and want to take over the world in my place !

**Brain:** (rising up heroically and in a tough manner) You're right, Snowball. I don't respect you anymore. You are, to a certain extent, my role model. You've helped to make me what I am now, but that makes me only more ashamed of myself. You have hardened me like a rock, you _evil hamster_. I wish to be hardened by you no more. Try to take over the world if you want! See if I care!

_(Brain turns around, his ears droop and he pauses. Then more confidently, Brain turns around again to face Snowball and continues.)_

**Brain:** I wish for us to go on our separate ways. Who's going to leave? You or me?

**Snowball:** It'll be _you,_ you ungrateful _rat!_

_(Snowball runs forward, fists clenched, screaming. Just as he begins to headbutt Brain, Brain jumps up and kicks Snowball in the chest, forcing the hamster onto his back. Brain runs forward, grabs Snowball's arms and puts them behind the hamster's back. Snowball keeps struggling to try and get out of Brain's grasp, but Brain determinedly drags him over to a small trebuchet-like device he has created, with many little bomb-like constructions beside it. Brain manages to grab a piece of nearby string with his foot and quickly, with one paw, takes it and ties Snowball's paws together. Snowball roars with fury and Brain throws the hamster into the trebuchet contraption. Brain releases the lever, so Snowball flies out of the open window in the lab. We see the hamster land far away on the ground outside, by this time the string around his paws has come loose. Angry and malicious, he screams again and slowly walks off. We see Brain again in the lab and a flashback to many scenes when he and Snowball were younger and were trying to take over the world together. We then return to the present and we see Brain shed a few tears.)_

**Brain:** Oh, how I miss the Snowball there once was. But ever since he became intelligent he… He… Has just become _so_ evil. How could I respect him now? And yes, he and I did wish to take over the world together. But I should have seen through him, as he became more evil, more individual. And now it's too late for me to change my mind about what I wish to do. My destiny is now and always will be, to _take over the world._

_(Ears drooping, Brain wanders over to his cage and closes the door, collapsing onto his bed. We see a few scenes of days going by, the date on the calendar in Acme Labs changing each time. We see Brain making plans, writing in notebooks, looking through microscopes, doing sums on a calculator and typing processing code into a computer in between date changes. The date changes once more and we see Brain lying spread-eagle on his bed, looking up with wide, frightened eyes.)_

**Brain:** I just don't _understand_ it. I have so many plans and ideas brimming like overflowing lakes in my neocortex, but I just can't seem to commit myself to any of them. (His paws clench into fists.) I haven't even tried to take over the world since Snowball left. (His fists stop clenching and he looks frightened again.) Snowball…

_(He turns over, his hand drooping down onto the floor.)_

**Brain:** That's it. It was Snowball that kept driving me, helping me try to reach my – our – goal. But now he's gone… Well, he could never help me now. But while we were comrades, he _did_ help me. Does this mean… I can't take over the world without help?

_(Brain sits up, bends his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around his knees, resting his head on them. He then looks up, giving a pondering look.)_

**Brain:** I need a companion. Someone to help me take over the world. But there's no-one here to help me. And who could I trust? How can I find someone to help me fulfil my destiny?

_(Brain continues to look frightened and sad, straight at the camera, which fades to black.)_


	3. Chapter 3

**Pinky and the Brain: The Movie (Part 3):**

(We see Brain in his cage, tossing around bits of scrap paper and pacing up and down almost robotically. His fur is puffed and messy to show that he is exhausted and unhappy).

**Brain:** Oh _why _did Snowball have to ruin my life?

_(He angrily growls and kicks up a piece of rolled up paper to the ceiling, which comes down and lands on his head. He groans a little and brushes it away with his paws.)_

**Brain:** If only I could stop wanting to try to take over the world!

_(Suddenly, Brain hears a scientist a few metres away in the room, talking to another scientist. As we hear the scientist's words, Brain's ears prick up in interest, his fur flattens to show he suddenly has more energy and he smiles a little, like how he used to when he was a young apprentice for Snowball.)_

**Scientist 1:** Hello Tress, just got a new mouse in from a lab that's closed down in London. Let's check the necessary documents…

_(He picks up a few papers and scans them, mumbling. His eyes suddenly widen in excitement and he stops reading, looking at his colleague.)_

**Scientist 1:** It's incredible, it seems the scientist over in London, who has also done PROJECT B.R.A.I.N on a few test subjects, has managed to make this mouse surprisingly intelligent! Not only is he able to read and write a little, but he uses some kind of language similar to that of human language. He says… Narf, Poit, Zort and… Egad. That's a human word.

**Scientsit 2:** Egad, that's incredible!

_(Brain leaps onto the side of his cage and crawls up so he can see the afore-mentioned mouse more clearly. The new mouse is looking up and smiling at the scientists, the first one of which is holding him in both hands.)_

**Brain:** Yes!

_(He leaps down nimbly from the side of his cage.)_

**Brain:** I shall make _that_ mouse my _apprentice!_ He seems smart, very smart. Maybe not as smart as me, but that will come in time. (Wrings paws with excitement.) All I need to do is meet him!

_(Brain takes out a paperclip from underneath his food bowl, twists the wire so it becomes a key-shape and unlocks the door, leaping out excitedly and tossing away the transformed paperclip. He sees that the two scientists are still within sight and hides behind a large box on the work-surface. He peers round to see the scientists leave the room and close the door behind them. Brain then runs quickly across the work-surface of the lab until he reaches the cage that contains the new_

_mouse. Brain holds the bars of the newcomer's cage as he talks to the English mouse.)_

**Brain:** (Slowly and clearly) Hello there. How is it being in Acme Labs?

**Pinky:** Haha, NARF! All fun, fun, _silly willy_, thank you. This is a much better space for storing lint, MADGE!

_(Brain's ears droop and he looks down at the ground for a second. He then holds up his paw and continues.)_

**Brain:** Clearly, mouse, you have enough intelligence as my-.

**Pinky:** PINKY!

**Brain:** (astounded) How did you know I was going to say that?

**Pinky:** I don't know… That's my name, I think, or now it is. Zounds, mouse, what's your name?

**Brain:** I am the Brain.

**Pinky:** My name is Pinky, nice to meet you. (Walks across and shakes Brain's paw through the bar.) Your name's funny! The Brain, haha, ZORT! Why have you got such a big head, Brain?

_(We hear Brain say in his head...)_

_**Brain:** Calm down, he might not actually be that stupid, he might just be nuts. Take Einstein, out of many examples, he wasn't exactly the most sensible man in the world._

**Brain:** (Clears throat) I have a big head because I have a big brain. And… I'm a genetically altered lab mouse who's bent on trying to take over the world. I was wondering if you'd like to help me, Pinky?

_(Pinky pauses and looks quizzically at Brain.)_

**Pinky:** But Brain, how could I help you?

**Brain:** I was hoping we could discuss plans, maybe you could give me some ideas.

**Pinky:** Well, I can't think of any, I'm afraid, the Brain. Why do you want to try and take over the world, anyway? There are many other things you could be doing with your life. Doing ballet, for example!

_(Pinky tries a pirouette and falls down. He laughs and picks himself up.)_

**Brain:** The answer to your question is a long story that cannot be told here.

_(Brain grimaces and we see a thought bubble above his head with Snowball's evil face staring at us.)_

**Brain:** Come, Pinky. I'll let you out of your cage and we can try and think of a plan for tomorrow night.

_(Brain walks over to Pinky's cage door, Pinky walks over to Brain.)_

**Pinky:** Ooh, what are we going to do tomorrow night, Brain?

_(Brain pauses and sighs exasperatedly.)_

**Brain:** The same thing I do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world. Please excuse me for my psaphonic behaviour, I'm a little obsessed.

**Pinky:** Oh, OK. POIT. I don't know what's coming out of your mouth, but I'm sure they're some big words, Brain.

_(The cage door opens and Pinky steps out, starting to run around excitedly.)_

**Pinky:** Wheeee! Haha ha ha! NARF! Oh this is _ga-lorious_ Brain! Thank you _so_ much for letting me out! I've _never_ escaped out of my _cage_ before.

**Brain:** Those scientists seem to have trained you to be too well behaved. I believe that you _did, _luckily, learn to write, read and speak human as soon as you went through one of those _Gene Splicer_ machines.

**Pinky:** Oh yes, Brain! It was so much _fun_ learning the alphabet in the _tingly-wingly rolly_ machine! Ooh, the squiggly wiggly "s" and the capital "B" with the two circles! Haha ha! Fun, fun, silly willy.

**Brain:** Actually, Pinky, it's not silly at all. Language and the written word are the bases of wider language and recording information, which would lead onto virtually _all_ of man's greatest achievements.

_(Pinky sits down and blinks in confusion.)_

**Pinky:** Oh. Right. ZORT. (Excitedly) _Oh, oh,_ like waterproof long- lasting lipstick?

**Brain:** (crestfallen) No, Pinky! Well… I can see that your intelligence will take a long time to match mine, but still, you _are_ the most intelligent mouse, apart from me, that I have any knowledge of. (He gives a little smile at Pinky, Pinky gives a huge smile back.) If you remember, we were going to make a plan to take over the world. Come to my cage, I have many graphs and diagrams with unfinished ideas for world domination schemes.

_(They start walking over, Pinky following unquestioningly in his characteristic manner.)_

**Pinky:** Oooh Brain, I know a good way to take over the world!

_(Brain spins around to face Pinky, his eyes wide and his mouth smiling with hope.)_

**Brain:** You _do?_

**Pinky:** Oh yes! I think we should dress up as the Olsen twins and organize a big conference for the preservation of Regis Philbin!

_(Brain is wide-eyed with complete misunderstanding at first, then starts to growl and roll his paw over his face in frustration. He then stares at Pinky, who is looking innocently at him and he picks up a nearby pencil and bashes Pinky on the head. Pinky then spirals around dizzily, laughing. He then stops spinning and looks at Brain quizzically.)_

**Pinky:** Not a good plan then.

**Brain:** (frustratedly but calmly) No Pinky, not a good plan.

_(Camera cuts and we next see Brain and Pinky standing next to each other. They have several sheets of paper with diagrams in front of them and the Brain is holding a pair of compasses.)_

**Brain:** Right, after two hours, (quietly) without your help, (loudly again) I have come up with a new scheme. We will first travel to South America, (Brain points to a sketch of South America with a point of his pair of compasses) where there are plentiful mines of heavy metals (Brain points to a sketch of these metals and their chemical symbols).

**Pinky:** Heavy metals? Arrgh, Ozzy Osborne! He's scary. (Pinky trembles.)

**Brain:** (Sighing) Pinky, I'll invite Ozzy Osborne round here if you continue to not _pay attention._

**Pinky:** EEK! OK Brain, NARF!

**Brain:** Anyway, ahem, after we have mined a good amount of these heavy metals, or _minerals_, we will turn them into weights and travel with them to the equator (points to a sketch of the equator on the earth) and place each piece of our minerals on the equator, making sure that every piece is at an equal distance from each other (points to sketch showing placing of rocks around earth). If we place enough pieces across the equator, then the balance of the earth will shift, panicking scientists, (murmuring) then politicians, (speaking loudly again) nationwide, (drops compass and raises paws into the air) giving us enough time to _take over the world!_

**Pinky:** (clapping hands excitedly) Egad Brain, brilliant! Oh wait, no, no… (Brain's expression falls.) What about when we have to put the rocks on the bottom of the sea?

**Brain:** _Easy… _ Enough. We'll rent a high-powered submarine for placing of weights underwater.

**Pinky:** Ah, well that makes things much simpler then, doesn't it Brain?

**Brain:** Indeed it does, Pinky. Indeed it does.

_(We see a close-up of Brain's triumphant expression and the camera fades to black.)_


	4. Chapter 4

**Pinky and the Brain the Movie (Part 4):**

_(We see Pinky and the Brain running into Acme Labs. They shut the door behind them as they run into the Laboratory room and they lean against the door, panting exhaustedly.)_

**Brain:** I confess that, in my excitement to take over the world again, I forgot that we had to raise a sufficient amount of _money_ to buy a stock of lead from a mining company. The thirty-five cents I had in my fur pocket didn't really cut the mustard.

**Pinky:** But Brain, you can't cut mustard very well with thirty-five cents. Actually, come to think of it, you can't really cut mustard at all. Kind of defeats the whole idea, doesn't it?

_(Brain growls at Pinky, dashes off and comes back with a pen. He then bashes Pinky on the head. Pinky groans and then laughs.)_

**Pinky:** ZORT!

**Brain:** (Sarcastically) Your high knowledge of proverbs and expressions astounds me Pinky. (More quickly) But on this we must not ponder. Let us travel to our cage and prepare and plan for tomorrow night. (Starts walking away.)

**Pinky:** Why Brain? (Starting to follow.) What are we going to prepare and plan for tomorrow night?

**Brain:** The same thing we prepared and planned for last night, Pinky. Again, we will try and conquer the world!

**Pinky:** Yay! NARF!

_(Camera cuts to long montage of scenes from the original series of "Pinky and the Brain." These show how Brain keeps planning to take over the world, but continues to fail either through his own, Pinky's, someone's, or something else's doing. The camera then cuts to Pinky and the Brain in their cage in Acme Labs. We can see that there is an age difference in Brain, in particular, who looked much younger in the_

_last part of the film.)_

**Brain:** Now, Pinky, let us escape out of our cage and test my new movie creator machine! Seeing as we have not been able to manage it in the past, this machine is programmed to create the perfect film, which will contain subliminal messages telling people to worship the Brain!

**Pinky:** Egad Brain, brilliant! Oh wait, no, no. It needs to have actors and actresses doing the characters, won't it Brain?

**Brain:** Nonsense, Pinky. No _modern_ film _really_ needs actresses and actors to play the characters, the computer can create an animated film and play computer-generated voices, using bits of sound files I have inserted into the machine that contain audio from a mixture of different films.

**Pinky:** But can't we hire Abe Vigoda to play the funny man? _Please,_ Brain?

**Brain:** (Grabbing Pinky's snout) NO! Besides, we have other mindless

things to spend our money on, I am sure.

**Pinky:** Oh yes, we always do, Brain.

_(Brain briefly raises his eyebrows, then goes over to his food bowl and takes out a boomerang from underneath it. He throws the boomerang out of the cage so it flies to and attaches to a key hanging across the room, which, hooked to the boomerang, falls with it onto the floor beside the cage as the boomerang returns. Brain then takes the key and unlocks the door, beckoning for Pinky to follow him.)_

**Brain:** I gave up bothering to tell you about how my technological advances operate a long time ago, Pinky, but I have a feeling this may be the _very_ key that will help me assume control of the planet. You see, not only does the software in this computer create the perfect film to hypnotize people into following my leading rule, but it also has the bandwidth and capabilities to distribute its film into all of the main television stations across the globe, so it can play at exactly the right time in all countries, for people to watch it. It is common knowledge, Pinky, that everyone watches television at eight o' clock in the evening. People will have just had their evening meal and they will be tired from working all day. Therefore, they will wish to relax in front of the television and watch a show which will be broadcasting at that very moment, or else, if they cannot watch TV, they will be _recording_ a show at precisely eight o' clock onwards.

**Pinky**: Egad, Brain! That means everyone will watch your film! Erm… What will happen after that, Brain?

**Brain:** At 9 o'clock, when everyone is still watching TV, I will then broadcast a film of myself, personally, asking to be appointed world leader. Everyone will have been hypnotized to follow me, so it will only be a small matter of time after that, before I am chosen to rule over mankind! Now, Pinky, we will dwell on that when the time comes. Let us begin the process to make a film!

**Pinky:** Yay! POIT!

_(Brain goes over to behind the front view of the machine, jumps up and pulls down a lever. Due to this, there is much static activity in the aerials at the top of the machine. Pinky has followed Brain to the behind of the machine and looks up at the activity with innocent interest.)_

**Brain:** YES! Within seconds, Pinky, you and I will see the movie starting to appear on this little screen (gestures to a screen on the side of the machine), so _we_ can see it too, along with the rest of the world. If I think that the film needs a little added dialogue along the way, I can add my subliminal messages through this microphone. (He picks up a microphone attached to the machine) As they say, Pinky, enjoy the show!

**Pinky:** NARF! Oh, I've waited for this film a_ long time,_ I'm glad we managed to get a private screening before it's released in theatres. (Sniffs.)

_(Brain ignores Pinky's remark. The static activity continues, Pinky and the Brain watch the screen expectantly. The background music builds up and once it reaches its crescendo, the static electricity stops and the aerials then flash slightly, twice. Pinky and the Brain continue to watch the screen and then, suddenly, Brain's ears droop and he starts to look angry.)_

**Brain:** What? _What's going on?_

**Pinky:** What's the matter Brain?

**Brain:** (Grabs Pinky's shoulders roughly) The _machine,_ Pinky, the _machine!_ It isn't playing a film! Argh!

_(Brain hits the machine, there is a clank, but nothing more. Brain stares up at the machine with a defeated look in his eyes, then shakes with anger and storms off towards the door.)_

**Brain:** I need some fresh air, Pinky, to relieve my approaching anophelosis. Then we must return to our cage and _again_ prepare for tomorrow night.

**Pinky:** Oh. What are we going to do tomorrow night Brain?

**Brain:** (As he opens the door leading out of the lab.) The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!

**Pinky:** Oh, of course. (Follows Brain into the reception area.) How silly of me.

**Brain:** Yes, that is true. It is _very_ silly of you, but perhaps that is

because, due to the fact you are as intelligent as a kid's trampoline, you

are _always_ silly, Pinky.

**Pinky:** Oh yes, Brain! Ha ha ha, NARF! Really, when have I ever been sensible?

**Brain:** (As he opens the door leading to the outside) To my knowledge, never.

_(Pinky and the Brain open the door to the outside. We notice that there are several large shrubs and benches in front of the green at Acme Labs. When Brain notices these, his expression becomes very shocked and confused.)_

**Brain:** _What?_

_(He runs over to the benches and shrubs and Pinky wordlessly follows. Brain then pauses to ponder.)_

**Brain:** That's very strange. I could have sworn these bushes had only just been planted last time we were out here. And where have these benches come from? They don't look familiar to me.

**Pinky:** Egad Brain, you're right! Oh wait, no, no, maybe they used some special fertilizer to make the bushes grow quicker and maybe they put the benches here while we were in our cage preparing to take over the world.

**Brain:** (Looks at Pinky in astonishment.) Your unusually good reasoning impresses me, Pinky. However, I doubt that even the scientists at Acme Labs would bother to use such good fertilizer to make these shrubs grow quicker. And I would have noticed if they'd delivered benches here. Besides, these look like they've been here for a long time, they're not in top condition.

**Pinky:** Oooh. NARF!

_(Brain pauses again, then, the two mice begin to walk out of Acme Labs.)_

**Brain:** Let us travel into town to see if anything else has changed, Pinky. Something's not right. Not right at all.

**Pinky:** POIT?

_(Camera cuts to a scene in the middle of a city. Pinky and the Brain are walking on the pavement in between the feet of walking pedestrians.)_

**Brain:** Look at everything around us, Pinky. What do you see?

**Pinky:** Erm… That boy over there is excited that his mum has bought him a blue lollipop rather than the pink lollipop that his sister's got, most of the women walking past us are wearing very high heeled shoes with thin rounded stilettos and most of the chewing gum on this sidewalk is probably over five years old.

_(Brain looks at him with wide eyes for a second, before answering him with a little irritation in his voice.)_

**Brain:** Pinky, your observations, though correct, are, in fact entirely useless and unrelated to the point I was about to make. I was going to say: have you noticed that almost everyone walking past us, has a strange phone-like gadget that looks like nothing that has have ever been developed by phone companies? Have you noticed that these buildings across the street are rebuilds from the buildings that were there before, which could not have possibly been done in the time we have not been here.

**Pinky:** We were here less than a week ago, weren't we Brain?

**Brain:** My point exactly, Pinky. Thirdly, many of the men who are walking past us seem to be following a fashion that should not have passed _you_ by, Pinky, a fashion which requires them to have their pants so far below their waists that they display almost all of their boxers.

**Pinky:** NARF! You're right, Brain! What an absolutely tasteless fashion.

**Brain:** I'm glad we both agree on this. But Pinky, you seem to be missing my point.

_(He rushes across the pavement to the edge of a wall where they will not be trampled on by passers-by.)_

**Brain:** I have to ask, _where are we,_ Pinky? Or rather, _when_ are we?

**Pinky:** I don't understand, Brain.

**Brain:** For once, I don't blame you, Pinky. I can barely understand it myself. We seem, possibly because of my faulty _movie-making _machine… To have travelled -.

**Unknown Speaker:** Into the _future,_ Brain?

_(Brain and Pinky almost jump up in shock. They spin round, to see, coming out of a shadowed alleyway, an evil yellow hamster, walking slowly up to meet them.)_

**Brain:** SNOWBALL!

**Snowball:** (Patronizingly) Oh Brain, you never cease to amaze me. You managed to work it out all so quickly.

**Brain:** (Sizing up to Snowball.) _You're_ responsible for this?

**Snowball:** As a matter of fact, I am, my pathetic albino friend. (Pressing

his face into Brain's aggressively.) And if you want to get _back_ to where

you came from, you're going to have to get through _me._

_(Music becomes dramatic, then camera view blacks out.)_


	5. Chapter 5

**Pinky and the Brain: The Movie (Part 5):**

_(The camera shows Brain and Snowball still face to face, ready to begin fighting. Pinky is standing on the outside, looking at them desperately and confusedly.)_

**Pinky:** You're not going to hurt Brain _this time,_ Snowball! You see,_ I_ learned _YOGA!_ (Does a martial-art type pose.)

**Brain:** (Rolling his eyes.) Pinky, yoga isn't even a martial art, it's a state of mind and physical being that helps you to _relax._ And you don't even _know_ any martial arts.

**Pinky:** (Looking dejected.) Oh yes, I remember. I always get kung-fu and yoga confused.

**Snowball:** Ha ha _ha,_ looks like I'm going to be a little tough to beat, eh Pinky? It appears that Brain and I are going to have to sort this between ourselves.

**Brain:** Indeed, you despicable Criceti, to reference Latin. _How_ did you send Pinky and me into the future in the first place? And _why?_

**Snowball:** In answer to your first question, Brain, I simply sneaked into the Lab while you and Pinky were asleep and changed the software so it could not make films, but instead, could send you ahead 13 years in time, to the year 2011.

**Brain:** 2011? My, has time flown.

**Snowball:** Ha ha ha, you've spent too much time with Pinky, your humour's becoming sorer. (Pinky yelps and looks hurt.) Surely... You aren't as _unasinous_ as _he_ is?

**Brain:** Even _you _know that not to be true.

**Snowball:** (Chuckles) Anyhow, I don't want to fight on this busy little pavement here. Come to my house… My house in Medina, overlooking Lake Washington.

**Brain:** That's where _Bill Grates_ lives, is it not?

**Snowball: ** (Smiling) Hmm hmm, yes indeed, Brain. It's a nice, comfortable home, _perfect_ for us to sort out _everything_ between us.

_(Brain looks very irritatedly at him, ears drooping.)_

**Brain:** _Fine. _ Would you perhaps give us a guidebook of the 21st century before you leave?

**Snowball:** Oh I'm _so_ sorry Brain, I haven't prepared one. You can always use the Internet though, to keep you up-to-date on the latest happenings. There's a surprising amount that can happen in _thirteen years._

**Pinky:** Ooh, the Internet! Isn't that a huge magical group of networks on computers, Brain?

_(Brain pauses, then answers.)_

**Brain:** I might as well just say _yes,_ Pinky. It doesn't really make a difference what your average lab mouse thinks the Internet is, anyway. I expect that the Internet has advanced significantly since we last went on a computer, I would imagine?

**Snowball:** Oh yes indeed, Brain. And it's not just the _Internet_ that has improved, it's the way that we can _all_ use it. You see, most Internet users nowadays just access the Internet through their Iphones or laptops, rather than on a big, hulking _computer._

**Brain:** Most people own a laptop? Ridiculous! And what is an I-phone, for crying out loud? Don't tell me that's what I saw almost everyone use as we walked past people just now! What's happened to _my world?_

**Snowball:** It's _NOT_ your world _YET _Brain! (Calming a little) Ha ha ha ha, never mind, we can discuss that later. Have fun in 2011, Brain! So long!

_(Snowball walks into the alleyway and Pinky and the Brain listen as he dresses up as Bill Grates, then watch as "he" comes out and walks to a parked car and drives off, looking back to the lab mice with an innocent look on his face as he goes.)_

**Brain:** That _abhorrent_ megalomaniac! Oh Pinky, what am I getting myself into?

**Pinky:** I'm not sure, Brain. You might get into your mechanical suit later, if that's what you mean.

_(Brain smiles, then realizes he is smiling and becomes surprised at himself, so he suddenly looks irritated again.)_

**Brain:** Never mind, I am too tired to go on another lecture about clichés and expressions, Pinky. Now, let us go back to the Lab and raise some money to pay for a flight to Seattle.

**Pinky: ** (Following Brain down the street) Why, Brain? What are we going to do in Seattle?

**Brain:** To go to _Bill Grates'_ house and hopefully, for the last time for our lives, _fight_ _Snowball!_

_(Camera blacks out and we next see a scene of Acme Labs. Brain is on the Lab's new Apple computer, excitedly typing into the keyboard and scanning the results.)_

**Brain:** In all my ponderings, _never_ did I think an online encyclopaedia could be so appealing. Pikipedia is the most fascinating thing, for my old self in 1998 anyway, since the fact that _The King of Queens_ managed to get a place on the WB schedule.

_(We then see Pinky, who is on an Apple laptop, watching a "MeTube" video.)_

**Pinky:** Haha! _FUGU FISH!_ NARF!

_(Brain comes over to see what Pinky is watching. We see a scene from "Harry the Unicorn," which Brain clearly disapproves of. The more intelligent mouse jumps up, slams down the laptop lid and grabs Pinky's snout.)_

**Brain:** You _must_ stop watching those animated MeTube videos, Pinky, it will destroy the _remaining_ brain cells inside your frontal lobe. Come over here and have a look at something _much_ less mindless and as it happens, _useful_ for our understanding of current affairs and popular culture.

**Pinky:** NARF! Popular culture like _Twilight?_

**Brain:** (Pauses, irritated.) Remind me, Pinky, what is the appeal and fascination of _Twilight?_

**Pinky:** Ooh, it's such a _romantic story_ Brain. It's about a vampire who doesn't drink human blood and falls in love with a _human,_ which some other vampires would _eat_ because they're nasty, but _this_ vampire's not! And the human falls in love with the vampire even though he's _scary, _because he's a vampire, you know, so it's all about _true love._

**Brain:** (Sarcastically) _Yes,_ sounds like _just_ my sort of book. Let's buy it now and collect all the memorabilia!

**Pinky:** Oh GOODY, Jacob and Edward bags and MOUSEMATS! Fun, fun, silly willy! Oh, but Brain, I've learnt all about _mitosis_ after watching _Twilight_!

**Brain:** (his eyebrows raise and his eyes widen with surprise) _Mitosis_? How could such an important, scientific process be featured in such a – film?

**Pinky:** They chat about... Oh... (Scratches his head) Prophase... Metaphase... And – Anna someone.

**Brain:** (Nodding) At least you've remembered _some_. And what happens in Prophase, Metaphase and _Anaphase_?

**Pinky:** Erm... Some things happen which only _big words_ can describe?

_(Brain sighs, rolling his eyes. After pausing for a few seconds, he walks over to the computer.)_

**Brain:** Let's not get too side-tracked by high literature, Pinky. Come, look at this Piki page. It shows the most important events of the 2000's, which will help us mentally fill in the gap between 1998, when we transported ourselves accidentally back in time, to 2011, the 1st of November, to be precise. Once we've read and studied this page, we can then go onto the 2010's.

**Pinky:** Ooh look! It's showing the HeadBook, Tweeter, MeTube, Dig-Dig, and Vlog symbols! NARF! The Internet is a wonderful place, eh, Brain?

**Brain:** Precisely. For once, you are correct, Pinky. The Internet is so important, people's _lives_ are now controlled by the Internet and the Internet influences everyone's -. (He pauses, his eyes widen) _YES! THAT'S IT!_ Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

**Pinky:** Well, I think so Brain, but I'm not sure if they sell new Deloreans anymore.

_(Brain rolls his eyes and runs his paw across his face in irritation.)_

**Brain:** _No,_ Pinky, we are going to use the Internet to _take over the world!_ I can distribute subliminal messages across the Internet through social networking sites, such as HeadBook and information websites, such as Pikipedia and wonderful new advertising media called Virals, which will convince people, that _I_ should be chosen, to rule the world!

**Pinky:** Egad Brain, brilliant! Oh wait, no, no, we're supposed to be raising money to buy aeroplane tickets to Seattle, aren't we?

_(Brain's eyes widen with momentary fright and he growls with anger.)_

**Brain:** You're right, Pinky, unfortunately. We shall have to leave taking over the world for some other time. But we _must_ make sure we do not go back in time, for we _could not_ hope to bring our current plan to fruition in 1998. Come, Pinky, let us go back to our new cage and think of a way to raise money quickly, as Snowball might try to take over the world in our absence if we do not hurry.

**Pinky:** Ooh, that wouldn't be good, would it? It would be as bad as that bit in _Twilight_ when Bella nearly gets eaten by that seriously creepy and weird vampire who _actually eats_ people.

**Brain:** Pinky, if you mention Twilight one more time, I shall have to hurt you. And I could find many more things to conk you on the head with in this day and age.

**Pinky:** Oh right, sorry Brain.

_(We see Pinky and the Brain walking over to their cage and the camera blanks out.)_

**Hi everyone! I just want to say that I didn't mean to insult _Charlie the Unicorn_ or _Twilight _when writing this part of the film, I am merely making fun of their effect on popular culture, as the original writers for Pinky and the Brain made fun of the effects of popular culture during that time.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Pinky and the Brain: The Movie (Part 6):**

_(We see Pinky and the Brain opening an envelope in the Lab. Brain excitedly draws out a cheque and spreads it out, reading the value. We read the figure "$500,000.")_

**Brain:** YES! Pinky, it seems we have made a huge profit from selling the website Steakhousevilla. Along with Farmingvilla and all those other silly "reality" games, I have no doubt that it will be _very_ popular on Headbook. And you can still keep _your_ account, Pinky, and spend your time _very usefully_ to manage your ickle steakhouse and make loads of ickle internet friends who also own steakhouses.

**Pinky:** Egad Brain, brilliant! Ickle steakhouse and ickle internet friends, ZORT! Oh wait, no, no, will the money we've earned be enough to get a flight to Seattle?

**Brain:** (Sighing) _More_ than enough, my intelligently impaired associate. The $450,900 profit will not only pay foyr our flights to Seattle, but the remainder will help contribute to our _weapons_ against Snowball.

**Pinky:** Weapons? _Oh,_ like lightsabers and ray guns?

_(Brain pauses, looking at Pinky irritatedly.)_

**Brain:** Unfortunately, those are _ficitional_ weapons, Pinky. Even George Lucas couldn't lend us either a lightsaber or a ray gun. Any that he _would_ have had he would have given to friends or sold them at exorbitant prices for people who wouldn't or couldn't use them.

**Pinky:** Does Steven Spielberg have any left over? He and George Lucas are best friends, you know.

**Brain:** (Pauses, puts his paw on his chin.) Hmm. Let me think. Oh wait – _no!_

**Pinky:** (Blubbing) _PLEASE_, _Brain!_

**Brain:** (growling) Oh _all right!_ We _could_ see if he has any.

_(Camera cuts to a new scene, where we see a large table, with Steven Spielberg at the head and Pinky and the Brain standing in front of him on the table. Steven is looking quizzically at the two lab mice.)_

**Brain:** Thank you for fitting us into your busy schedule, Stephen. You may remember me from when I, Freakazoid and Wakko Warner met with you several years ago, if you do not recall. I am the Brain. This is my associate Pinky. (Gestures to Pinky, Pinky waves excitedly.)

**Pinky:** Hello Steven, NARF! I'm a big fan of yours. (Becomes very shy.)

**Steven:** (Chuckling) You know, I _still _don't know who you people are. What _is it_ you wanted to speak to me about?

**Brain:** We were wondering if you had any spare working lightsabers from back in the day, when you and George Lucas shared that kind of thing. We would happily give you a ridiculous amount of money for them.

**Steven:** Well… I do have _one_ spare lightsaber. It's based on Darth Vader's though, one of the red ones, so you might be seen as evil if you wield it.

**Brain:** (Gasps, then clears his throat to speak.) Do I look like I _care?_ (Suddenly becoming very polite.) Apologies, that will be satisfactory. (Turning to Pinky, looking almost ecstatic.) I don't believe it. You're right, there _are_ real functioning lightsabers after all.

**Pinky:** Aw, thanks Brain. You know sometimes stupid people actually come up with ideas that work sometimes.

_(Brain pauses irritatedly.)_

**Brain:** Yes. I know that _too_ well.

**Steven:** So, Brain, _how much_ will you pay me for the lightsaber?

**Brain:** Hmm… I'd say… Ten thousand dollars?

**Steven:** _Ten thousand dollars?_ Do you think these things grow on trees?

**Brain:** (Faltering) Well, _supposedly_ the lightsaber will be made up of a few components that would not be _nearly_ that expensive?

**Pinky:** How would _you_ know that, Brain? A short while ago you didn't know that lightsabers even _existed,_ TROZ!

**Brain:** Don't question me – er – _this once,_ Pinky!

**Steven:** In answer to your question, Brain, in terms of _materials,_ it is cheaper than ten thousand dollars. But in terms of _fan memorabila,_ it's probably the most expensive, desirable _Star Wars_ related item you could get.

**Brain:** Hmm. I'd momentarily forgotten to count the thousands of madly adoring and insane fans.

**Pinky:** Like FanBoy from Freakazoid! He went after Mark Hamill that one time, remember? Fun, fun, NARF!

**Brain:** (Groaning) Yes, I do remember. I'd imagine he'd pay _way_ more than ten thousand dollars for a genuine lightsaber. (Clearing throat.) Anyway, enough chat, Mr Spielberg. I will pay _twelve thousand dollars_ for that lightsaber.

**Steven:** Fifteen thousand.

**Brain:** Thirteen thousand.

**Steven:** Fourteen thousand.

**Brain:** (Shaking with anger and irritation) THIRTEEN THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED!

**Steven:** (Pauses) Thirteen thousand and nine hundred.

**Brain:** THIRTEEN THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED!

**Pinky:** (Jumping up) Two million! _Ha ha ha,_ FJORD!

_(Brain and Steven glance at each other with bemused expressions on their faces and they shrug at the same time. Brain then becomes more concentrated and frustrated.)_

**Brain:** _Thirteen thousand and seven hundred!_ That's my highest offer, take it or _leave it!_ (He stretches out his paw.)

_(Steven, glancing aside to the camera with a triumphant look on his face, looks back at Brain and shakes his paw.)_

**Steven:** Deal.

**Pinky:** Thanks Steven! Before we go, can I please have your autograph?

_(Pinky whips out a pen and pad from his "fur pocket" and looks up adoringly at Spielberg, stretching out his items. While Brain rolls his eyes in exasperation, Steven politely takes the notebook, signs his name and puts a little shark drawing in the corner. When Pinky he sees this he squeals with delight.)_

**Pinky:** Wow! My _own_ personal _Jaws_ drawn by _Steven Spielberg!_ _NARF!_ Thank you... Ooh ooh, have you got any other fan memorabilia for sale?

**Brain:** _PINKY-._

**Steven:** Well Pinky, as it turns out, I was thinking about selling some dino dung from _Jurassic Playground,_ the bicycle from _E.T: the Extra Turkey Sandwich with Fries, _and the lost marbles from _Fish-Hook_.

**Brain:** (patronizingly) They sound _lovely_, but I'm afraid my associate and I _have_ to _leave now_. (He starts dragging Pinky away, who looks a little put out but does not say anything.) Thank you _ever so much_ for selling your lightsaber, we'll take _good care of it,_ I _assure you_.

_(Brain raises his eyebrows at the camera in an exhausted manner as he goes off-screen. We then cut to a scene where Pinky and the Brain are walking with a hired delivery man back to the Lab.)_

**Brain:** We shall conjure up _more_ money to make sure we can _fight Snowball fairly_ and then have the chance to _conquer the world!_

**Pinky:** Egad Brain, brilliant! Oh wait – no, no, no. What happens if Steven Spielberg _lied_ to us and the lightsaber is really a _fake?_

_(Brain momentarily looks stunned and scared, faltering before replying.)_

**Brain:** Er – Pinky – I _don't think_ Mr Spielberg would have lied to us. If it _is_ a fake, we'd soon find out our hamartia and he'd be at huge risk of an enormous law-suit.

**Pinky:** (Shivering) Ooh, we've had unpleasant experiences with law-suits, haven't we Brain? _And_ man-size suits. I _still_ don't know how to work that thing.

**Brain:** Don't remind me of that time, Pinky. Working with a re-reinsurance company and watching you _break_ into a court case like that were some of the most stressful experiences of my life. We must think of more positive things. For example, preventing Snowball from trying to fool _all _of our future plans.

_(We then cut to scene where Brain and Pinky come into the Lab, each with a large bag of coins, which they tiredly drag up and let go of on the lab work-surface. Then, they, more eagerly, open the bags and start to sort out the contents.)_

**Brain:** Even if it's _home-made_ rather than official, _Twilight_ memorabilia sells well, if I do say so myself.

**Pinky:** Yes, so many people love Edward and Bella! Although we weren't liked by those scary people who said _Twilight_ was lame! They were horrible! (Sniffs.)

**Brain:** They were perhaps being a _tad_ bit over the top, but I'm not afraid to admit that I _was_ tempted to pull out my tail, after painting _so many_ Jacob abs on those badges.

**Pinky:** Oh I thought you drew his abs _very_ well Brain, to be sure! Ha ha ha ha, TROZ!

**Brain:** (Glances at Pinky with a slightly worried look.) The main point we can dwell on though, Pinky, is that we have raised an extra fifty dollars, which means we can now pay the _full cost_ of our flight to Seattle, as well as pay for luggage for our lightsaber and genuine David slingshot, which was used to defeat the _mighty_ Goliath.

**Pinky:** Egad Brain, that's brilliant! Oh wait, hold on, no, no, won't that slingshot just be a fake Biblical object like so many others that people have tried to get, exhibit and pass off as genuine over the years? And also, David's slingshot is carved in stone on that _huge_ sculpture in Florence by Michelangelo with the pathetically small-.

**Brain:** I know what you mean, Pinky. Wait – I thought you thought Michelangelo was a ninja turtle?

**Pinky:** Ooh, don't be silly Brain. First he was a Southern High Renaissance sculptor, architect, painter, poet _and_ engineer, _before _he decided to become a ninja turtle.

**Brain:** (Growling) Pinky, this may come as a surprise to you, but the ninja turtles were _named_ after great historical figures, those great historical figures _did not_ become ninja turtles later in life. Besides, after painting the Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo could hardly have had the strength to even _contemplate_ training as a ninja.

**Pinky:** Ha ha ha, NARF, it all make sense now, Brain! _I_ should know, having painted the original Sistine Chapel in this world. (Straightens himself and stands tall proudly.)

**Brain:** Yes… On _Chia_ Earth. Anyhow, in answer to your previous questions, firstly, I have had many scientific tests performed on this slingshot and it is the _very one_ David used all that time ago to do the seemingly impossible, to beat a nine foot giant with nothing but a slingshot and stone. This is a story which encourages a _small,_

seemingly _insignificant_ lab mouse to feel much more confident about trying to become overlord of planet earth. Secondly, the slingshot on Michelangelo's sculpture is not a _real_ slingshot, it is an artistic representation, as is the whole sculpture itself. David could not possibly have been seventeen feet tall with such a small-. Well, let us not focus on this any longer.

**Pinky:** Oooh, focus, Brain? Are we going to get a Ford?

**Brain:** (Looks wide-eyed at Pinky for a second.) An odd comparison to draw, Pinky. No, we are _not_ going to get a Ford, that is probably the _lowest thing_ on our list of priorities right now.

**Pinky:** We have a list of priorities? Can I put: "Getting more German gummy bears" at the top?

**Brain:** (Exasperatedly) _No,_ Pinky, it was metaphorical, we don't have a _real_ solid list of priorities. And do we really _need_ German gummy bears?

**Pinky:** Oh, _certainly_ Brain! (Jumping up and down excitedly and singing) Ich bin dein gummibar! Ich bin dein gummibar! Ich bin dein gummi gummi-.

_(While Pinky has been singing this, Brain has picked up a nearby USB stick and cuts off Pinky by bashing him on the head with it. He turns to face Pinky.)_

**Brain:** Like I've told you _several_ times before, my associate, you watch too much MeTube.

_(The camera fades to black.)_


	7. Chapter 7

**Pinky and the Brain: The Movie (Part 7):**

_(We see a wide blue sky and then a large airport view. The camera focuses on a plane landing on the runway. We see a black screen and a caption that says: _**HALF AN HOUR LATER…**_ After the caption, we see the plane having just stopped and people starting to walk down the stairs next to the plane. The camera zooms in on Pinky and the Brain, who are walking down the stairs, dressed as unsuspicious tourists.)_

**Brain:** Here we are, Pinky, in Seattle. The home of none other than Bill Grates, or rather, Snowball.

**Pinky:** And the home of Kenny G!

_(Brain starts looking momentarily sleepy as he stumbles a little down the next step on the stairs.)_

**Brain:** Pinky, please don't mention that name again, I need to be fully awake and feel hyped up if I'm to fight Snowball today.

**Pinky:** Oh! Right, sorry Brain.

_(We cut to scene where Pinky and the Brain, with a large suitcase next to them, are in a taxi, which is speeding through the streets of Seattle, despite the level of traffic.)_

**Brain:** Now, Pinky, let us go through battle tactics one more time.

**Pinky:** Ooh, I'm sure you'll go through them even _more_ than one more time, eh, Brain? You're so worried and all.

_(Brain's eyes droop. Pinky looks a little concerned and puts a paw on Brain's shoulder.)_

**Pinky:** Aw, it's OK, Brain. I know you'll beat Snowball and that everything will soon be OK. Bang, zoom, right in the kisser, NARF?

**Brain:** (Smiling slightly and speaks softly) Yes, bang, zoom, right in the kisser, indeed.

_(The two sit looking at each other quite fondly for a few seconds.)_

**Pinky:** Now Brain, _what_ was it you were going to tell me about fighting tactics?

**Brain:** Er…

**Taxi driver:** NO!

_(The camera goes to the front of the car, where we see the taxi driver and three other characters in the front seat who are crowding together and looking disappointedly at the man driving the car.)_

**Dr Scratchansniff:** No, we are NOT going to ze circus today, OK kids?

**Wakko, Yakko and Dot:** But _please,_ Dr Scratchansniff?

**Brain:** _No!_ Not the Warner Brothers and Sister! I thought we'd left them some time ago. Looks like we'll have to put up with them a while longer.

**Pinky:** Poit. Who'd have guessed? It's not as if we appeared in the same show with them or anything.

**Brain:** (Sarcastically) _Precisely,_ Pinky. I wonder what they're doing here in Seattle and why their car is disguised as a taxi car, unless Dr Scratchansniff has decided to follow the profession. To be frank, I'm surprised we didn't notice _before_ that Dr Scratchansniff was the taxi driver.

_(The four in front peer to the back-seat to see the two mice sitting there in confusion.)_

**Dr Scratchansniff:** You weren't _supposed _to know zhat it was us! Oh dear, _oh dear..._ If Snowball finds out-.

**Brain:** Wait, _Snowball?_

**Dr Scratchansniff:** He's sending you into a trap, little mousey. He forced us to take you on a different route where he has computer-controlled weapons stationed for your arrival.

**Brain:** Take us a on different route! _Please_ Dr Scratchansniff, don't follow his orders!

**Dr Scratchansniff:** You don't understand, Brain. He's got many of our friends _hostage._ He zhreatened to _kill zhem_ if I didn't do what he said.

**Brain:** Well, what if he doesn't find out until it's too late for him? If we stop the car soon enough, we could walk.

**Dr Scratchansniff:** _Zhat_ could work, except zhat he's put weapons _ten miles_ from his house and he's got cameras at all zhe ozher alternate routes. He'd find us out first.

**Brain:** Well, stop the car as soon as necessary and we can discuss a plan.

**Wakko Warner:** I still want to go to the circus.

**Pinky:** Ha ha me too! TROZ! Do we have time, Brain?

**Brain:** _No,_ we do _not_ have time to go to the circus! Wakko, Yakko, Dot, Pinky, our lives are in great peril.

**Yakko Warner:** (Jokingly) Where's Great Peril? I didn't mention _that_ place in Yakko's World.

_(Brain shakes and growls in anger.)_

**Brain:** You're as bad as Pinky!

**Dot Warner:** Pinky's not bad, otherwise he'd be with Snowball, wouldn't you Pinky? You're a good little mouse.

**Pinky:** Aw, thanks Dot. NARF!

**Brain:** Everyone, you _must_ listen to me! We all need to cooperate to make sure that Snowball does not win and that _we_ win.

**Wakko Warner:** We win what?

**Dot Warner:** The lottery?

**Pinky:** Five minutes' free shopping at the piggly wiggly?

**Brain:** (Clapping his paw to his forehead) _No!_ We are going to win the fight against _Snowball!_

**Yakko, Wakko, Dot and Pinky:** _Oh!_

**Dr Scratchansniff:** I don't want to go any furzher, I can see one of his cameras up zhere, in zhat tree.

**Brain:** Thank you Dr Scratchansniff. Let us think about what we'll do.

**Wakko Warner:** We don't have to follow the road, do we?

**Brain:** Of course! Wakko, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

**Wakko Warner:** I think so Brain, but I know that _Concorde's_ the capital of New Hampshire.

**Brain:** _No,_ Wakko. We'll walk off the path, so we can avoid all of Snowball's cameras. Do you know any quick, safe routes, Dr Scratchansniff?

**Dr Scratchansniff:** Follow me, I know how to get zhere from here. But it'll be a long walk, mind.

**Pinky:** No problem Dr Scratchansniff! I _still_ need to stretch my legs from that plane journey.

**Brain:** Pinky, we _could_ stretch our legs on the plane journey. We're mice, our legs weren't all cramped up against a seat like the legs of most of the people on that plane.

**Pinky:** Oh right. ZORT.

_(We see the band walking through a dense forest, looking around a little nervously. Brain and Pinky are walking ahead. They nearly jump in surprise as fellow with bushy brown hair walks out from behind a bush in front of them.)_

**Larry:** Hello! I'm Larry. I remember you two, Pinky and the Brain.

**Dr Scratchansniff:** Larry! How did you get out of Snowball's house?

**Brain:** _You_ were trapped in Snowball's house?

**Larry:** Yes. Not very nice, I can tell you. I'm Larry.

**Brain:** A fact I know all too well, you strange fellow.

**Pinky:** Brain – and Larry – are there lots of people trapped in Snowball's house?

**Brain:** I don't know. Larry, you just came from there, who's in there?

**Larry:** Er… Well there's Wench and Rags, those rats who listened to your Spanish story, me, Mr Sultana Sultana, me, Romy, Phar Fig Newton-

**Pinky:** PHAR FIG NEWTON! _No!_

**Larry:** Yes. There's also me, Larry and Billie-.

**Brain:** BILLIE! _No!_

**Larry:** Yes. Then there's Precious, me, Mindy and Buttons and me, Larry.

**Brain:** Wow. Surely Snowball couldn't have managed to round up all those people by himself?

**Larry:** No, he was helped by members of the FBI, including none other than Christopher Walken.

**Brain:** So _that's_ what he's doing now. Did he, Snowball and the other Agents travel back in time to find and capture everyone?

**Larry:** They did. Everyone and me, Larry. They think you're evil and need to be defeated, Brain.

**Pinky:** (Desperately) It's a trap! Don't fight Snowball, _please,_ Brain. I don't want you to _get hurt!_ Snowball wouldn't kill all those people if you didn't fight, would he?

**Brain:** Not all of them, I shouldn't think, he feels almost as much for Billie as I do, if you remember, Pinky. No, I think the only way to make sure everyone whom he has kidnapped stays safe, is to go out and _fight._

**Wakko:** Now that we've _escaped,_ sort of, we can help you as well!

**Brain:** Of course, Wakko! That hadn't even occurred to me. My cognitive and reasoning skills are somehow lacking now that my mind is so filled with fear. I'll need all the help I can get from _each_ and _every one_ of you.

**Dot:** And I'll distract all the FBI agents with my little smile because I'm _so cute!_ And if they call me Dotty, I'll _hurt them!_

**Pinky:** Hurrah! POIT!

**Brain:** YES! Seems like victory is just around the corner.

**Pinky:** Where? I don't see him.

_(Pinky begins to run off looking for "victory". Brain drags Pinky back and they look at each other for a moment. Brain picks up a fallen tree branch and bashes Pinky on the head with it.)_

**Brain:** It's an _expression_ Pinky, like so many others that go over your head.

**Pinky:** Oh, I don't think they'd be fit enough to do _that._ They'd have to be very good high-jumpers.

_(Brain growls, then decides not to react again and goes off.)_

**Brain:** Come, everyone! And – Larry… We must stand together and _defeat the evil Snowball!_

**Everyone else:** HOORAY!

_(We see them walking through the forest, then the camera fades to black.)_


	8. Chapter 8

**Pinky and the Brain: The Movie (Part 8):**

_(We see a dark night-time scene of Snowball's house. Dramatic music plays and there is thunder and lightening. The camera zooms briefly to the house and then we see inside, with Snowball surrounded by many prison-type cells of the prisoners he has captured.)_

**Snowball:** _Hahaha_, Brain _still_ hasn't arrived and my forces are stronger than ever! (Pauses and looks around a little.) REGIS!

_(Regis Philbin, who has become an FBI Agent, runs into the room.)_

**Regis Philbin:** I'm out of control!

**Snowball:** Yes, we know that already. Regis! Get me some coffee. And don't forget it should be in one of my _nice china mugs!_

**Regis Philbin:** Yes, _sir!_

_(He runs off, Snowball looks to the camera.)_

**Snowball:** Servants, eh? Always so _keen _to please you. (Grins and chuckles.)

_(The hamster peeks into one of the cells. Billie is sitting on a matchbox inside it, looking very sad and lonely.)_

**Snowball:** Oh, _Billie,_ please don't look so sad, it makes me sympathetic and that makes me _mushy_. You know, you can be free and provided for, if you _just_ decided to become my wife.

**Billie:** You evil _fiend!_ I'll _never_ marry you, I love _Pinky!_

**Snowball:** Pah! _Fine._ But you know Pinky doesn't love _you._ Meanwhile I've asked to marry you _time_ and _time_ again, since I brought you here.

**Billie:** I know that Pinky doesn't care for me as I care for him. But I still won't marry you. You only brought me here as bait so Brain would get hurt trying to rescue me! And Pinky, as he always follows Brain around, will get hurt too! You _horrible hamster!_

**Snowball:** What horrid alliteration, my dear. Anyway, I have to press on with important matters. Goodbye my sweet Billie, don't forget that I'm _always_ happy for you to reconsider!

_(Snowball starts walking away. Regis Philbin rushes up with the coffee cup on a tray.)_

**Regis Philbin:** Here is your coffee, sir.

**Snowball:** Thank you. (Takes coffee.) But soon enough, instead of sir, you'll have to start calling me… Overlord Snowball! _Hahaha!_ Regis, (clears throat) I am just going to consult with my most _Precious _captive, then, I will talk with the invalid. It's so nice talking with a fellow Englishman.

**Regis Philbin:** But soon to be Overlord Snowball, you're a hamster, not a-.

**Snowball:** _Yes, yes,_ I get the drift, now, go along and entertain the other Agents, I'm sure they're in need of some amusement. Since I wasted valuable time and money creating a _theme park_ for _Pinky,_ pah, I have not spent much time preparing entertainment for my guests, I regret to say.

**Regis Philbin:** Yes, sir, I'll make them laugh and smile, sir!

_(Regis leaves. Snowball walks to another cage, which has thicker bars and a complicated lock system on its door. Precious is stretched out on the cage floor, looking very sad.)_

**Snowball:** _Hello, _Precious.

**Precious:** (Yowling) How _dare _you imprison me in this _cage_, little _rodent!_ I was _happy,_ for the first time in my life, since I changed and you just had to get back on your feet and _ruin everything!_

**Snowball:** (putting his hand to his ear, speaking in a mocking tone) Oh, listen! What's that I hear? Hmm. Oh yes! It is the sound of a _measly_ little prisoner moaning her _pathetic_ little _life away! Ha_hahaha_ha!_

_(Precious looks miserably down at the cage floor and yowls.)_

**Snowball:** I'll see you later, _pet_! (Snowball walks away) Ha ha ha!

_(We see Snowball walking to a door, opening it and walking down a dark flight of steps. At the end is a door which is slightly ajar and is letting out a soft light. Snowball stops at the door and knocks.)_

**Snowball:** Hello, my good fellow. It's me, Snowball.

**Voice behind door:** Snowball? Good to hear your voice, old boy. How is your progress with your evil schemes going?

**Snowball:** Wonderful, thank you. May I come in? I want to talk to you about those very schemes that you have just mentioned.

**Voice behind door:** Yes, of course, come in.

_(Snowball walks in and we see him striding towards a bed. In that bed, we see the invalid is The Lobe.)_

**The Lobe:** Can you tell if Brain's progress is going slow? I hope you can put my mind at rest, my hamster ally.

**Snowball:** I believe I may indeed put your mind at rest. I haven't heard from the Brain for days. _My_ belief is that he hasn't raised as much strength and defence as he would like to before he fights me. But Lobe, even when he _does_ come, don't worry, there's no chance of him leaving the house _alive._

**The Lobe:** Of course Snowball, of course. I do trust you, but nowadays I'm so frightened of a squabble. Again, I'm _sorry_ I can't help in the fighting effort.

**Snowball:** I understand. Things have been a bit shaky for you since Freakazoid took _everything_ from you.

**The Lobe:** Yes. (sniffs) And Steff… She really _did_ train well in heavy artillery firing.

**Snowball:** Let us not talk about that now. I wanted to ask you some advice.

**The Lobe:** Anything to defeat your enemy, my friend.

**Snowball:** OK. (Clasping hands in excitement) Knowing the Brain, he'll probably try to sneak into the house without my knowing, through a pipe, or ventilation shaft, or possibly even through the floorboards, as I would do myself, if I were to enter an enemy's house. Should I station guards at places where the Brain is likely to enter, or do you think I should set up traps there that would lead Brain to _me? _ Both would be fiendish.

**The Lobe:** Ah, indeed! I think the traps would be the best idea, it would waste too much of the FBI Agents' energy to have them guarding all possible entrance places and, as you say, once Brain is inside the house, there's no way he's going to get out again! _Hahaha!_

_(Both of them laugh together in an evil manner. We cut to a scene where Snowball is designing a contraption just outside of his house, which includes a tube and a mouse-trap type design, which will mean, when anyone lands inside it, he or she will land in Snowball's prison room. We then cut to scene where Snowball is sitting at a dining table, eating and drinking coffee, looking exhausted but relieved. At the table with him are all the FBI Agents.)_

**Snowball:** Ah… That was hard work, but all so _satisfying._ Remember that gentlemen, when you work hard, you will feel _good_ at the end of it.

**FBI Agents:** Yes sir! We agree sir!

**Snowball:** It's _so_ nice to have table companions. I still cannot quite get over the thrill of company. Are you enjoying your sea bass, Christopher Walken?

**Christopher Walken:** Yes… Sir. It is… Absolutely… Lovely. The

sauce is… Absolutely… Appetizing.

**Snowball:** Wonderful! You know, I feel less stressed out about the fact that Dr Scratchansniff, Yakko, Wakko and Dot are not here. Wait. DR SCRATCHANSNIFF, YAKKO, WAKKO AND DOT AREN'T HERE! What have I been _thinking,_ not realizing they've been gone? They've been absent for _hours!_

**Regis Philbin:** They were going to pick up Pinky and the Brain from the-. (Covers his mouth with his hand quickly and yelps.)

_(Snowball's eyes narrow and he walks across the table to Regis Philbin. He then grabs the man's collar and stares into his face menacingly.)_

**Snowball:** _What_ were Dr Scratchansniff, Yakko, Wakko and Dot doing earlier today?

**Regis Philbin:** (Nervously) They were picking up Brain and Pinky from the airport sir.

**Snowball:** And _why_ wasn't I notified of this?

**Regis Philbin:** I said that _you'd_ ordered me to order them to do it, but I just thought of it myself, that's all.

**Snowball:** And did you order Dr Scratchansniff to drive them back _here?_

**Regis Philbin:** Yes sir.

**Snowball:** Why didn't you say so! (Sounding calm at first) Haha, so it's

not _your_ fault that they're not back, it's THEIR FAULT! (Growls) _Why_

did you let them out into the world? Of course, they might have been too

afraid to escape, but it looks like they _have!_ Are you – plotting against

me?

**Regis Philbin:** Er… Er…

**Christopher Walken:** Spit it out… Regis.

**Regis Philbin:** Er… (Bursting into tears) YES! I _did_ plot against you! But it's only because… Dot… Dot's _so cute!_ And Pinky… He's one of my biggest fans… He wouldn't want me to hurt him and I wouldn't want to hurt _him._

**Snowball:** Oooh, I should have thought twice before employing gullible celebrities as my FBI Agents. (Waving his paw) I want someone to momentarily leave the table and drag Regis to one of the spare cells please.

_(One the Agents leaves the table and drags Regis away, Mr Philbin doesn't object, but looks guiltily down at the ground.)_

**Christopher Walken:** Don't worry… Sir. I… Will stand against… The Brain…. If you remember… He has been my enemy… For some time.

**Snowball:** I do indeed, thank goodness. His re-re-insurance days are over and soon _all his days_ will be over! _Hahaha!_

**FBI Agent 1:** Despite the fact that Brain has just escaped.

**Snowball:** Oh, Brain wouldn't escape, even if the others do, which they probably have already, come to think of it, pah! _He'll_ be coming soon enough. He wants to be rid of me almost as much as I want to be rid of _him._

_(We cut to scene where Brain, Pinky, Larry, Dr Scratchansniff, Yakko, Wakko and Dot are still walking through the forest, quite exhausted.)_

**Pinky:** Oh... _Brain,_ MADGE, I wish I could rest right now.

**Brain:** So do I, Pinky, _my _calor is very warm indeed. But it may make you feel better if I reassure you that your energy _will_ be rekindled, when we reach our _goal_.

**Pinky:** Aw, Brain, I _always_ knew you loved football. And candles.

_(Brain starts to growl and is just about to bump Pinky on the head when he and the others hear a strange noise, making them startle in surprise. We see a police car driving up on a small forest track next to them. The window winds down and a face peers at them.)_

**Sergeant Cosgrove:** Hey Brain, Pinky, Dr Scratchansniff, Yakko, Wakko, Dot! And – Larry… Do you guys want to go for a meal at Chubby Cheese?

**All the others:** DO WE?

_(We cut to a scene where all of them are eating heartily in Chubby Cheese.)_

**Sergeant Cosgrove:** Woo, that was _one_ nice Meat and Whipped Cream Pizza. By the way, Brain, Snowball's still waiting for you at Bill Grates' house.

_(Brain, remembering, stands up in a courageous pose.)_

**Brain:** YES!

**Pinky:** Egad Brain, I don't think I could move, I've eaten so much!

**Brain:** You don't have any choice. Help me to fight Snowball, or stay here and prepare to be forced into watching Marty Ingels when I get back.

**Pinky:** (Gasping in fright) OK, I'll move!

_(Brain smiles. The music becomes more dramatic and the screen fades to black.)_


	9. Chapter 9

**Pinky and the Brain: The Movie (Part 9):**

_(We see a road near Bill Grates' house and Sergeant Cosgrove's car driving along it. We then see a view of all the characters nervously sitting cramped up in the car, except for Sergeant Cosgrove who is in the front.)_

**Brain:** It is _nearly time_ for our post-prandial battle, Pinky! How does this make you feel?

**Pinky:** Erm... (Pinky touches the car seat in front of him) I _feel_ just the same as I used to, Brain.

_(Brain growls and rolls his eyes and there is a pause, where we see all of the characters in the car.)_

**Dot Warner:** Oh _please_ can I sit in the front Sergeant Cosgrove? _PLEASE?_ I _am_ cute!

**Sergeant Cosgrove:** (Pauses, looking at her) All right. You are cute. Come on up. It isn't much further anyway.

**Dot Warner:** YAY! (Hops into front.) I knew you'd let me. It's because of my gorgeously manipulative qualities.

**Sergeant Cosgrove:** Mmm.

**Brain:** _I_ am not fooled by manipulative Warner sisters! You must learn to control yourself and resist temptations, Cosgrove. Will you resist the temptation of staying safe in your taxi so you can come and help me and my comrades in fighting Snowball and his helpers?

**Sergeant Cosgrove:** No thanks. Not really into the fighting side of things. I'll call Freakazoid and see if he can help you.

**Pinky:** YAY! Freakazoid will save the day! (Jumps up and down) NARF!

**Brain:** Thank you Cosgrove, that would be appreciated. And yes, Pinky, hopefully Freakazoid _will_ save the day – as long as he stays on track. You know what he's like.

**Pinky:** Oh, but we _do_ want him to go off track, Brain! We're _nowhere near_ a train station, so if he _is_ off track, then he would be more likely to help us.

_(Brain sighs and passes his paw across his face in irritation.)_

**Sergeant Cosgrove:** I can see a camera up ahead. It's looking at me funny.

**Dr Scratchansniff:** Oh _please stop,_ Sergeant Cosgrove! Ozherwise we will be blown into millions of pieces!

**Sergeant Cosgrove:** (slamming down on the brakes) Thanks. None of us

would have been pleased with that.

**Brain:** Thank you Dr Scratchansniff and Cosgrove.

**Dr Scratchansniff:** Don't zhank us now! We're in much danger! If we get in sight of zhat camera we'll be _doomed!_

**Yakko Warner:** (Looking to Brain) Hey, that's what Dr. Mordo said, eh Brain?

**Brain:** (Raising his eyebrows) I don't know what you're talking about. (Muttering to Pinky) Probably from a different show. (Talking to everybody) Anyway, I have something more important to point out. Everyone, _I_ have a _plan._

**Pinky:** Ah, I _knew_ you'd come up with the perfect plan, Brain. What is it?

**Dr Scratchansniff:** Yes, what is it?

**Brain:** I'll get out of the car and then, after walking in a long spiral, I'll be able to sneak behind the camera and cut it off with my lightsaber.

**Dr Scratchansniff:** Wonderful!

**Pinky:** Oh goody! You'll be just like Luke Skywalker, Brain!

**Brain:** On the contrary, Pinky, I'm afraid I'll be more like Darth Vader, seeing as I've got a red lightsaber. To top that, in my old age, my breath's become a little bit wheezy. So Mark Hamill I _will not_ be, the _all-powerful Brain_ I _will_ be.

**Pinky:** Hmm, come to think of it, I always saw you more as a General Grievous type. (We see Brain growl and shake with anger.) Ahem, never mind, what's important is what's happening _right now! _(Concernedly) Good luck Brain!

**Brain:** The compliment is felt, I assure you, but _skill_ rather than _luck_ is what is required in the task at hand.

_(Brain steps out of the car and everyone else watches as, in slow motion, with Empire _Star Wars_ music in the background, Brain starts to walk up towards Snowball's camera. Suddenly, the film camera cuts to a blue screen with white writing on it saying: _IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT_.)_

**Joe Leahy:** We interrupt this film not only to increase dramatic tension, but to make an important announcement. I may not have had many acting lessons since I took some on _Freakazoid_, but I still am as good a narrator as I ever was and will now-.

_(Brain jumps up onto the screen, speaking as he does so and as he continues to speak, he lands feet-first on the edge of the shot.)_

**Brain:** _No, no, NO,_ you are _NOT_ becoming our narrator. This is _Pinky and the Brain: The Movie_, we've _already_ drawn _very_ far away from the film's original character list, so can we _please_ just act more like this is _Pinky and the Brain_? (Smiling) Who knows, maybe they'll make a _Freakazoid_ movie…

**Joe Leahy:** (Pauses) Hey, you've got a point there, Brain. Who knows, we have a new generation of viewers, maybe there's a market for a _Freakazoid_ film as well as a _Pinky and the Brain_ film.

**Brain:** Yes, enough with the pondering, can I please get back to the _movie?_ I'm in the middle of a _very_ dramatic scene.

**Joe Leahy:** _Yes,_ I know, _I'm sorry,_ it's _just…_

**Brain:** (crossly) JUST WHAT?

**Joe Leahy:** I was asked to tell you that the writers have added a little extra

scene into the picture.

**Brain:** Well, does it have to be _here?_

**Joe Leahy:** It _will_ increase dramatic tension and keep the audience watching.

**Brain:** Oh FINE, just play the stupid scene!

_(Camera cuts to scene that shows several people sitting round a table. The room has many ornaments and models of characters from Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, Freakazoid and other WB cartoons.)_

**First Person:** Hello movie-viewers. We are here to make you aware of the fact that despite being die-hard fans of all things Warner Brothers animations -.

**Second Person:** We are perfectly normal human beings! (He hears his mobile phone alert him of a call with the _Animaniacs_ theme tune and he picks the phone up, holding it to his ear.) Yeah? (Pauses) No way, Season 2 is like, _totally_ better than Season 1. (Pauses) Yeah, while the first series has only two twenty minute slots which have just one story, or in the case of _The Chip Acts I-III,_ has the first part of one story, _all _the twenty minute slots in Season 2 are single episodes, which is _much_ more enjoyable for the viewer, because you are more satisfied with longer stories and you focus more on one set of characters, rather than having loads of extra seemingly pointless characters like Lord Bravery, the Lawn Gnomes, Fatman and Boy Blubber-.

_(Camera swivels to another person sitting at the table.)_

**Third Person:** Anyway, what we're trying to say is, _many people_ get into animations, men and _women,_ like me, boys and girls, Americans and British people, Africans and Asians, it's a worldwide _culture_ that is sadly only embraced by a select few otherwise normal people.

**Fourth Person:** People like us may go to Comic-Con to meet up with writers, voice actors and animators of our favourite cartoon shows. San Diego Comic-Con, one of many Comic-Con events, has had about 125,000 attending for each year in the last few years. As many of these people are cartoon fans, it gives a huge indication of the percentage of animation buffs in western society.

_(The camera turns to the second person, who is still talking on the phone.)_

**Second Person:** _Yes,_ but the first Looney Tunes character was Bosko, who appeared in the first Looney Tunes episode, released in 1929, called _Bosko the Talk Ink Kid,_ but some people believe that _Sinkin' in the Bathtub,_ released in 1930, was the first Looney Tunes episode, because the former was actually a mixture between live action of Producer, Animator and Director Rudolf Ising, meanwhile the latter is more like a traditional Looney Tunes episode as it has a proper storyline, there is no live action-.

**First Person:** (Smirking) Moving on, I hope we have helped you to bridge the gap between your normal self and us slightly more oddball animation fans. Remember, we may be a little different, but we're still….

**All People Apart From Second Person:** PERFECTLY NORMAL!

_(Camera cuts back to Brain standing by the road. He looks up to the top left of the screen.)_

**Brain:** Are we done now, Joe?

**Joe Leahy:** Oh yes Brain, I'm off now, bye! Don't forget, that there might be a _Freakazoid_ movie soon!

_(Brain sighs and continues walking on, the music and slow motion camera starts up again. Once Brain is behind the metal stand of the camera, he takes out the lightsaber from his "pocket" and swings very hard at the metal stand. The music comes to a crescendo as the camera breaks apart, electric sparks fly everywhere and a cloud of dust and smoke forms. Brain walks out of this cloud of dust dramatically, still in slow motion. The slow motion ends as Pinky runs over to him excitedly.)_

**Pinky:** EGAD, Brain, it _is_ a genuine lightsaber! I _knew_ we could trust Steven!

**Brain:** (Rolling his eyes) Yeah, sure you did.

**Dr Scratchansniff:** Well done! Zhis is zhe last camera on zhis route to Bill Grates' house. Let's go, but be careful. Zhere are several trees and bushes just before we get zhere, so I can tell us where to hide.

**Brain:** Thank you, that will be appreciated. Follow me, everyone – and

Larry. Thanks again, Sergeant Cosgrove!

_(Cosgrove waves and drives off with his usual facial expression. We watch the characters as they start to walk towards the house. The camera then cuts to a scene a little closer to the building. Dr Scratchansniff signals to the Brain, Pinky and the Warner Brothers and Sister, who are ahead of him and he also calls to Larry to come back. The characters scurry to Dr Scratchansniff and bend down to listen to him, as he is crouching down nervously.)_

**Dr Scratchansniff:** (whispering) All right, zhis is as far as I'm happy to go wizhout hiding in zhat dense undergrowzh over zhere. (Points to some bushes, shrubs and low trees.)

**Dot Warner:** (whispering) Dense undergrowth. How stupid is it, then?

**Yakko Warner:** (whispering) Oh I'd imagine that tree trunk would have

a pretty high density, much more than its leaves, for instance. Wood is

_very heavy,_ you know.

_(We cut briefly to a drum roll with Wakko.)_

_(Dr Scratchansniff and the Brain manage to control themselves from complaining about Yakko's and Dot's annoying puns and just walk over to the dense undergrowth, everyone else follows.)_

**Dr Scratchansniff:** (whispering) Now everyone – and Larry – don't forget, be quiet.

**Brain:** (whispering) You can count on me, Dr Scratchansniff.

**Pinky:** (whispering) No he can't, not without squishing you anyway. He

could do the counting part, but not the getting on you part.

**Brain:** (whispering) Dear Pinky, once we've got out of this infernal undergrowth and I've defeated Snowball once and for all, remind me to hurt you and give you a _proper_ lecture on figures of speech, clichés and expressions.

**Pinky:** (whispering) Righty-ho, Brain!

_(Everyone keeps walking and creeping through the undergrowth, from certain characters we can see a lot of rustling, others are more careful. Eventually, we see them all come out of the undergrowth and gasp and gaze at something that we cannot see. The camera then shows us what they are looking at: Bill Grates' house. They pause a few seconds longer before Brain starts to walk around.)_

**Brain:** (whispering) If you and I just walk around here, Pinky, we may not be spotted so easily. You guys, seeing as you're much taller and noisier, are more conspicuous, so please, go back to the undergrowth and stay there until either Pinky or I give you the signal.

**Yakko, Wakko, Dot and Dr Scratchansniff:** (whispering) Yes sir! (They retreat back into the undergrowth.)

_(Brain and Pinky continue walking around. Suddenly, Brain spots something ahead and grabs Pinky, pulling him backwards in a protective manner.)_

**Brain:** (whispering) Careful Pinky, Snowball's placed a trap there. Can you see all that gear that he's used?

**Pinky:** (whispering) Oh that's a _trap!_ I thought it was a piece of modern art.

**Brain:** (whispering) Your occasional strangely appropriate associative powers never cease to amaze me, my friend. But in fact, as I have said already, it is a trap that Snowball has made to try and procure us more swiftly. But no, I have a cleverer idea than to enter through _that_ route. Now that I have discovered that Snowball has no cameras on the façade of his house, I will attempt to enter the house by the most obvious way possible. The front door.

**Pinky:** (whispering) NARF! But what if Snowball's already spotted us and is _pretending_ he hasn't spotted us?

**Brain:** (Pauses nervously) You've got a point there, Pinky. OK. Looks like I'm going to have to redevelop my plan. Trust everything I do Pinky and act _very quickly_.

**Pinky:** Aw, usually I trust everything you do already, Brain. And I can act quite well too, I've certainly had more lessons than Dot!

_(Brain cannot help smiling, he then looks over to the bushes and whistles. There is some rustling and then Wakko's head sticks out of a shrub.)_

**Wakko Warner:** Is that the signal?

**Brain:** YES! Everyone, run to the front door, NOW!

_(Exciting music starts. Everyone leaps out of the bushes, following Pinky and Brain who are charging around the house to the front of it. Brain is just about to climb up to ring the doorbell, when none other than Snowball slowly opens the door. He and Brain stand face to face.)_

**Snowball:** (Smiling) _Brain?_ What a surprise.

**Brain:** Haha, you've never had any hesitation before lying, have you?

**Snowball:** Oh Brain, you mustn't think me so dishonest as that. (Walks forward.) Oh, and _look,_ you've brought all your _friends._ (Pauses and his eyes widen in realization. He then speaks quickly and quite matter-of-factly) You've brought all your friends.

**Brain:** How observant you are, Snowball. (Raises his arm) _CHARGE!_

_(The William Tell Overture plays in the background as everyone comes charging in, the Warner Brothers first.)_

**Brain:** Find Snowball's helpers! Make sure they are rendered useless in this final combat!

**Snowball:** Oh indeed, Brain. Let us hope _greatly_ that this _will_ be our final combat.

**Pinky:** It _will_ be if _Brain_ has anything to do with it! _Go Brain_, I'm going to help the others, TROZ! (Pinky runs off.)

**Brain:** (concernedly) Careful Pinky!

**Snowball:** (Grabbing Brain by the shoulders) It's _time_ for your _end_ Brain… And _MY VICTORY!_ Ha ha ha _ha!_

**Brain:** (wriggling out of Snowball's grip) Not so fast, you flaming hamster. First my helpers defeat your helpers, _or else_ your helpers defeat mine. _Then_ we battle. Therefore, it will be a fair victory. Even _you_ Snowball, must agree that is a sensible plan.

**Snowball:** (Pausing) All right. Deal. I promise not to start personally fighting you until everyone else is _done._ But I can't guarantee that none of my helpers won't hurt you until we start combat.

**Brain:** (Grimacing) Mmm.

_(We see views of certain characters fighting FBI Agents in a cartoonish manner. Characters such as the Warner Brothers seem to be doing well against the FBI Agents, putting the Agents' helmets over their heads so they cannot see and bashing them over the head with their own clubs. People like Dr Scratchansniff, Larry and Pinky are not doing so well and, as the music comes to a crescendo, the three are tied up back to back.)_

**Brain:** Pinky!... And Larry! And Dr Scratchansniff.

**Pinky:** Oh Brain, I tried! It's just he was _very big_ and I was _very small._

**FBI Agent:** _He?_ I think you'll find that I'm not just _any man._ I am one of your greatest enemies, Pinky, the Brain and Dr Scratchansniff – and Larry.

**Brain:** (walking over) Who _are you_ then? Take off your helmet. Come on!

**FBI Agent:** All right, if you insist.

_(The Agent talks off his helmet. As he does so, he rolls his head around in slow motion, until we see him smirking at the camera, with an evil expression.)_

**Brain:** (Frightenedly) _JAMIE KELLNER!_

**Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Dr Scratchansniff, Pinky and Larry:** JAMIE KELLNER!

**Snowball:** Yes, Jamie Kellner. My most _highly trained_ FBI Agent. The man may have banned our show, but I have since forgiven him and accepted him as a _most respectable assistant._ Now Brain, I said _I_ would not hurt you until our comrades had fought to their last, but I have a feeling Jamie Kellner _will._

**Brain:** You _despicable_ hamster.

**Snowball:** Ha ha, indeed. Jamie Kellner, after you.

_(Jamie Kellner slowly walks past Snowball and bends down to confront Brain.)_

**Jamie Kellner:** (menacingly) You and I haven't finished with each other, _Brain._

**Brain:** Unfortunately, it looks like we haven't. Do your worst!

**Jamie Kellner:** All right. I will.

_(Music builds up and then ends in a crescendo as the camera fades to black.)_


	10. Chapter 10

**Pinky and the Brain: The Movie (Part 10)**

_(The camera shows Brain and Jamie Kellner, the human is bending down so much that his face almost touches Brain's. A dramatic drum roll starts as Brain pulls out the lightsaber from his pocket and switches it on, so the red "blade" shows in the dark room. Jamie Kellner whips out an elaborate sword from a sheath under his uniform, smirking as he shows it to the audience.)_

**Pinky:** (Gasps) _Excalibur_!

**Brain:** That _is _an ancient weapon worth having.

**Jamie Kellner:** I find it's worth having. Of course I had to bribe a little to the British Museum, but I'm _sure_ that once they are led to understand that it was procured to kill a despicable mouse such as yourself, they will forgive me. But before we assume battle, Brain, there's something I wish to discuss with you.

_(As Jamie Kellner is making his speech, we see Dot come over to Larry, Pinky and Dr Scratchansniff, she takes a pair of scissors out of her skirt and cuts the rope around the captors, so they break loose and wriggle out of their bounds. We see the characters thank Dot. The camera then zooms onto Pinky, once Jamie has finished talking. The mouse's eyebrows raise as he seems to remember something.)_

**Pinky:** (Whispering) POIT! All the other prisoners are still imprisoned. I'd better let them out.

_(Pinky runs off and the camera turns back to Jamie Kellner.)_

**Jamie Kellner:** Brain, ever since you appeared in _Animaniacs_, I have _hated you._ You with your _megalomaniac_ tendencies, obscure terminology and vain knowledge of things that no kid would ever understand... Not what _I_ _believe _should be shown on childrens' televsion. Same for you Ani_maniacs_!

**Wakko Warner:** _Hey,_ we're not maniacs!

**Yakko Warner:** We _behave _like maniacs, but off air we're actually very sane, going on holidays to Palo Alto and working as accountants. (Smiles.)

**Jamie Kellner:** I'll ignore that backstory, Yakko. And besides, what _animals_ are you supposed to be anyway? Cats? Monkeys? _Civets_?

**Dot Warner:** No comment. What does it matter? (Jumps into Jamie's arms.) I'm still cute!

_(Jamie drops Dot disgustedly on the ground.)_

**Jamie Kellner:** Ugh! Anyway, I'm sure you understand why I dislike you all so much. That's why I took your shows off the air. And now, you've all _come back_.

**Brain:** Thanks to Snowball.

**Jamie Kellner:** Yes, Brain. I am _glad _that you brought them here, Snowball, but even their presence makes me want to vomit.

**The Warner Brothers and Sister:** EUGH!

**Jamie Kellner:** And I have _one more thing_ to say to you, before I _destroy you_.

_(Camera cuts to Pinky, who has found a pink girly box in one of the next rooms. He looks at the camera before he speaks.)_

**Pinky:** _Now folks,_ either this box could contain a stick of dynamite that is set to explode as soon as I open the box, _or_ it could contain the keys to the prisons. Which one of those options could it be? There's only one way to find out!

_(Pinky opens the box and finds the keys inside. He picks them up.)_

**Pinky:** _E_-GAD! Hey, good thing it wasn't the dynamite, eh? Otherwise I'd have been blown up and little bits of me would have flown everywhere. Euuuugh.

_(Pinky instinctively runs to another door, which is slightly ajar. He peers around it and he gasps at what he sees. We are given a brief view of all of the characters trapped behind prison bars: Mindy, Buttons, Wench, Rags, Romy, Billie, Phar Fig Newton, Mr Sultana Sultana and Precious. Pinky runs to the closest prison, Mindy's and Button's.)_

**Pinky:** (whispering) Hey, psst! Psst!

**Mindy:** (Waking up and turning round to face Pinky) Oooh! Wittwe MOUSEY-WOUSEY!

**Pinky:** (whispering) Sssh! Be vewy vewy quiet! I'm hunting wabbits! Oh no, sorry, I'm going to rescue you!

**Mindy:** (A little quieter) YAY! _Good _mousey-wousey!

_(Everyone else wakes up and there are whispered murmurings as everyone runs to the front of their prison bars, watching as Pinky jumps up Mindy's prison and unlocks the door, sliding down as it swings open. We see Pinky going to the next prison, which is a cage containing Wench and Rags. They run out eagerly, thanking Pinky. We then see Pinky running to a cage with Billie inside, before the camera cuts to Jamie Kellner.)_

**Jamie Kellner:** Now, when I've defeated all those animated characters opposed to me, _I _will begin to make _my dream _become reality! To make the ultimate _romantic teen movie!_

**Everyone apart from Snowball and the other FBI Agents:** _NO!_

**Voice from the other side of a door:** Not so fast!

_(Everyone looks round.)_

**Everyone:** _Who was that?_

_(The door slowly opens and dramatic music begins as the camera focuses on Romy.)_

**Everyone:** _Romy? How did you escape?_

**Brain:** _Son..._

**Romy:** Thanks dad, but no time for that now. Everyone! CHARGE!

_(The Can-Can plays as all the freed prisoners and Pinky run towards the other FBI Agents and a traditional, "cloudy cartoon scrabble" forms. As this is going on, Brain glances at Jamie Kellner, who is about to strike down at him with Excalibur, but Brain jumps up and blocks with his lightsaber. Brain then rushes towards Jamie Kellner's legs to burn them, but Jamie Kellner knocks against Brain's weapon so much that Brain sprials in the air and lands, with his lightsaber next to him, on the other side of the room. He groans and strokes his head as Jamie Kellner walks towards him, his sword down low.)_

**Jamie Kellner:** Any last words, Brain?

**Brain:** Oh that's _so_ cliché, even _you_ must know _that_, Jamie!

**Jamie Kellner:** (Pauses) Oh. (He thinks of something) No time for last requests, you hateable little mouse!

**Brain:** May I not _even_ request that you use correct words, before my life is cut short by your age-old blade?

_(Activity halts as the doorbell rings. All the characters in the room stop fighting and pause, staring at the door as if it were alive. Snowball, a little irritatedly, paces forward opens the front door. Once the door has been opened, we see Rebecca Black, smiling characteristically.)_

**Rebecca:** It may not be Friday, everyone, but it _sure is_ a lovely _day!_ Looking forward to the weekend?

_(Jamie Kellner is staring lovingly at his young idol. Brain, seeing an opportunity, marches in a dark manner towards the unaware Kellner. Brain then swings his lightsaber and strikes Jamie down, Jamie's body disappears and his uniform and his Buffy the Vampire Slayer shirt, which is briefly visible underneath, flop to the floor. The camera shows the Lobe, who has just come into the room through a door and has a warm mug and a packet of pills.)_

**The Lobe:** _NO!_

_(The Lobe's "face" then turns green and he runs back to the basement to recover. Pinky runs over to Brain excitedly.)_

**Pinky:** You _astound_ me Brain, well done! Although you've got to feel a little sorry for that poor invalid.

**Brain:** I am not in the mood for pity, Pinky, but more in the mood for triumph and admiration. Your move to free the prisoners couldn't have been more well timed, or thoughtful! Thank you _so much!_ How many of the FBI Agents are down?

_(The camera shows Snowball and the remaining FBI Agents, who are staring in disbelief at Jamie's heap of clothes.)_

**Pinky:** Ooh, two, I think? That means there are four left.

**Brain**: (Frowning) Hmm. That's better than none, I suppose.

**Christopher Walken:** I... Was never a fan... Of Jamie Kellner... To be honest... Now that he's gone... I think... I can admire Brain... More.

**Snowball:** _WHAT_?

**Christopher Walken:** I cannot work for you... Anymore... Snowball... But neither can I help... In Brain's effort... To fight... So I must leave... Goodbye.

_(He runs out of the front door. Snowball shakes with anger and growls.)_

**Snowball:** _DOES ANYONE ELSE FANCY TURNING ON ME?_

_(The four remaining FBI Agents look at each other and shrug in a threatening manner.)_

**First FBI Agent:** You seem to have little faith in us, Snowball. What do you say to that?

_(They all stand up, peering down at Snowball menacingly. Snowball starts to stutter and wave his arms around a little desperately.)_

**Snowball:** Er – _No_! Of _course_ I trust you! I'm just under a lot of pressure. You guys are _very _important to me and _not just _in battle terms. You four have made me feel less sad and desperate these last few weeks!

**Second FBI Agent:** All right, we'll stay. (They turn to Brain.) Let's get 'em.

_(Dramatic music begins as the FBI Agents march over to Brain, armed with rifles. Brain and Pinky grip onto each other for a few seconds, until suddenly the music changes, as Freakazoid's head and the lightening-like trail behind him opens the front door. He whizzes around the house, until landing in between the mice and the Agents.)_

**Freakazoid:** You know, I _could _be having a mud bath right now, but _oh no_, _Cosgrove_ told me that _you guys_ were in trouble.

**Brain:** You're not too cross about having to save our lives, are you?

**Freakazoid:** You know, I originally became a superhero because it would impress the girls. BUT WHO CARES! The sooner I get rid of you guys, the sooner _I _get to have my mud bath!

_(The Freakazoid music begins again as Freakazoid swiftly whips the rifles out of the Agents' hands, chucks them to the other side of the room and punches the mens' faces, in succession. The first guy to get punched quickly recovers and kicks Freakazoid in the back, making the superhero fall over. This FBI Agent is walking over to Freakazoid with arms ready to strangle, while Freakazoid, who is lying on the floor, looks up and his eyes widen. To the left of the FBI Agent, Phar Fig Newton, with Pinky riding on her back, rears and lands in slow motion, knocking the FBI Agent cold.)_

**Pinky:** HOORAH, Phar Fig Newton!

_(Phar Fig Newton whinnies and the couple stare lovingly at each other for a few seconds, before the other three FBI Agents reach for their guns.)_

**Freakazoid:** _Hey_! It's dangerous for itty-bitty boys like you to be playing with biggy-wiggy things like guns! You guys had better go back to Kindergarten!

**FBI Agent 3:** Dude, we're in our twenties.

**Freakazoid:** I have two explanations for what I just said. One, (he holds up one finger) It was meant to make you feel humiliated and perturbed. Two, (he holds up two fingers) I am crazy and mad and I say things that don't really mean anything.

**The Warner Brothers and Sister:** That sounds just LIKE US!

_(We see the Warner Brothers and Sister, who have managed to procure some rope, whiz around the three men at high speed so each of them manage to tie up an Agent. The men stand looking a little embarrassedly at Freakazoid.)_

**Freakazoid:** Thanks Warner Brothers and Sister, you may irritate those who know you, but with initiative, you _can _be helpful.

**Brain:** More helpful than _you!_ You've hardly done _anything_! Get them out of here!

**Freakazoid:** Hey, _jeez_, you're almost as critical as the Lobe.

**The Lobe:** _WHAT DID YOU SAY_?

_(Everyone looks round to see that the Lobe has come upstairs again. He still looks very ill, but he is more full of energy this time and is VERY angry.)_

**The Lobe:** I'll try and say this as calmly as I can, you blue buffoon. I _came here_ because I thought I was going to revel in the destruction of the most impudent lab mouse on the planet, but instead I find that all my enemies have just _popped in_ and managed to do _very well_ for themselves. (Swivels around to face the evil hamster in the room) _Snowball_, you said that we'd manage to overcome our opponents!

**Snowball:** I'm _sorry,_ Lobe, I had _no idea_ they'd do this well.

**Dr Lobe:** I wouldn't be surprised if your head's gone _clouded_ with the idea of _success_. _And_ I wouldn't be surprised if they're Cumulonimbus clouds rather than, say, Altocumulus clouds, with the amount of self-delusion that's probably been going on inside _your _brain. I should never have listened to you! I see only _one way out_! I shall get rid of them _myself_!_ HA HAHAHA HA!_

**Freakazoid:** Oooh, _I think_ my mud bath tickets have _nearly_ run out. (He starts to tip-toe away, but Brain grabs him quite harshly by the leg.)

**Brain:** Not _now_, you crazy super "hero", we've _got _to do everything we can to succeed!

**Pinky:** Like _finally _buying some German gummy bears?

_(Brain growls with irritation.)_

**Brain:** _No,_ Pinky! I was exaggerating when I said _everything_, what I mean is, we need to really _do our best_ to win against Snowball and the Lobe and (whispering) to get rid of those FBI Agents.

_(The camera shows the Agents, who are still tied up in much rope.)_

**Pinky:** Then _please_ help us Freakazoid!

**Freakazoid:** (More nobly) All right, little mice. I _will_!

**Dr Lobe:** That's all for _chatting _now, folks!

**Snowball:** It's time for you all to be... _Defeated_!

_(Dramatic music starts as The Lobe and Snowball begin to close in on the three characters and the camera fades to black.)_


	11. Chapter 11

**Pinky and the Brain: The Movie (Part 11)**

_(The camera shows the Lobe and Snowball from a side angle, still closing in on Brain, Pinky and Freakazoid. Suddenly, we hear a voice from quite far away, off screen. Hearing this voice, Snowball and the Lobe halt, pause and turn round.)_

**Billie:** WAIT! _Please,_ WAIT! Don't hurt them! Just wait, _please_!

**Brain:** (peeking around) _Billie_? Get back with the others! It's too dangerous.

**Billie:** Don't get me wrong, Brain, I appreciate your concern, but I wanted to talk to Pinky, just before you two get hurt, if you _do _get hurt.

**The Lobe:** Our hope is that they _will_, you little beast of a mouse.

**Snowball:** _Hey_! Don't talk to Billie like that, Lobe! You know what I've said to you about her.

**The Lobe:** (Guiltily) I know, sorry. I'm overexcited.

**Pinky:** Why do you want to speak to _me_, Billie?

_(Billie rushes over to Pinky and clasps his shoulders lovingly.)_

**Billie:** Oh _Pinky_, you _know _how much I love you, even if _you_ have no interest for me and even if you _are _in love with a horse.

_(Phar Fig Newton grunts in a put-off manner.)_

**Billie:** No offence, Phar Fig Newton. But _oh, Pinky_! I just want you to know, before we perish here, how much I have always cared for you.

**Pinky:** (sweetly, although nervously) Aw, thanks Billie.

_(Billie hugs Pinky tightly and sheds a few tears. Brain is looking away, with ears drooped, trying to ignore Billie's feelings for his friend. Snowball has his arms crossed and is looking jealously at Pinky. The Lobe and Freakazoid are standing a little awkwardly. They glance at each other and cannot help smiling a little. Pinky is standing still, looking a little vacant and not understanding.)_

**Freakazoid:** (Talking to the Lobe) It's times like these when you just want to hug someone and pour out your heartfelt feelings as well.

**Dr Lobe:** (Tenderly) Oh I _know _how you feel, Freakazoid. Even in this tense and undesirable atmosphere I feel so connected with the _love _in the world.

**Brain:** I can't believe you guys are so _mushy_! What's _wrong_ with you?

**Freakazoid:** (A little put-off) Hey, it's only because _you're _directly involved that you're not feeling mushy.

_(Billie, with a little peck on Pinky's cheek, lets go of him and walks over to Brain.)_

**Billie:** (pathetically) Goodbye... Brain. I am sorry.

**Brain:** (Reluctantly, ears drooped, his eyes wide with longing) I understand, Billie. (Pauses.) Go back. Phar Fig Newton, Mr Sultana Sultana, Romy, Wench, Rags, Wakko, Yakko, Dot, Dr Scratchansniff, Mindy, Buttons, Precious – Larry and... Pinky... You all go to the other end of the room. This is a fight for two against two.

**Pinky:** But Brain! I want to _help you_!

**Brain:** You can help me not only by _not_ foiling my fighting plans, but also by the knowledge that you are much more likely to be safe. I don't want you to get hurt, Pinky.

_(Pinky starts to cry and clutches on to Brain, wailing.)_

**Pinky:** But _ Brain_! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE! BRAIN! (he bawls.)

_(Brain roughly grabs Pinky's shoulders and loosens the insane mouse's grip on him.)_

**Brain:** Pinky, just _GO_. _Please. _Go.

_(Pinky reluctantly walks backwards, shivering, until he is standing next to Phar Fig Newton. He grips the horse's leg and she bends down to nuzzle him affectionately, as he wails a little more.)_

**Snowball:** Can we _please _get on with it?

**Freakazoid:** Yes, let's. I still want to go to the mud baths, you know.

_(The four tense and bend forward, Brain facing Snowball and Freakazoid facing the Lobe. Marche Slave plays and as the music comes to a crescendo, Freakazoid dives on the Lobe and Snowball dives on Brain at the same time. We have a closer view of Snowball and Brain, Brain manages to dodge out of Snowball's way and then runs to kick Snowball in the chest. Snowball punches Brain in the face, Brain grunts, then pushes over Snowball with his paws and as Snowball tries to get up, Brain grasps Snowball's paws, clasps them behind the hamster's back and then he drags the hamster upwards.)_

**Brain:** You know we could stop this, Snowball. We could just leave now, pay no attention to each other, try to take over the world, in our own different ways, on our own separate paths.

_(Snowball wrestles his paws out of Brain's grip, leaping behind him.)_

**Snowball:** _Never._

_(Snowball then leaps onto Brain's back and they start to turn over in a somersault. The camera then cuts to Freakazoid, who is fighting the Lobe. Freakazoid punches the Lobe right between the eyes, the Lobe screams and covers his eyes, giving Freakazoid the chance to kick "away" the Lobe's feet so he falls to the ground, or that is what he thinks. Just as Freakazoid swings his leg, the Lobe jumps out of reach of Freakazoid's attack and bashes him on the head with a cricket bat from his coat pocket. Freakazoid's tongue lolls and little stars circle around his head for a few seconds, before the camera cuts to Snowball and Brain again.)_

**Snowball:** Just _wait_, _Brain_, _I _have something that will surely _defeat you_.

_(Snowball quickly runs across the room. While he does this, Brain reaches into his "pocket" and takes out a slingshot and a little rock. Brain throws up the rock to test its weight and then positions it in the slingshot, ready to let it go. We see Snowball coming up with a nunchuck and though he is a bit perturbed at first to see Brain ready to strike, he still confidently speaks to Brain.)_

**Snowball:** I have nothing other than _Michelangelo's _SLINGSHOT!

**Brain:** _The _Michelangelo? Or the teenage mutant ninja turtle?

**Snowball:** (irritatedly) _Honestly,_ _who _do you _think_, _Brain_?

**Brain:** Well _I _think that this _genuine David slingshot _from before the birth of Christ which has _nothing to do _with the _real _Michelangelo's David, is going to make you sorry that I _ever _came round to your house!

_(Brain lets the rock go. Snowball stares in horror as the rock, aimed for the area in between his eyes, comes straight for him. As the rock knocks into Snowball's face, Yakko's head appears on the screen, obscuring our view of Snowball.)_

**Yakko Warner:** Don't watch kids, it's _gruesome_.

_(Yakko whizzes away, we see Snowball, with the rock beside him, stroking his head and groaning with pain.)_

**Brain:** (walking slowly over) Now. Let's see what you can do with your _nunchucks_!

_(We see Pinky, who has run back into the next room and is searching through all of Snowball's possessions. Looking excitedly into a cardboard box, he heaves up a gun-like object, with eyes at the front as if it were an "alive" gun.)_

**Pinky:** Wow! I think I saw this on a CGI kid's show once. It's a silly ray! NARF! Fun, fun, silly willy! Ooh, I wonder what Brain will say when he sees _this_!

_(Excitedly, he runs back to the first room in the house. The camera skips to Pinky once he has made it back there. He is standing on the edge of the group, peering forward, desperate to talk to Brain. We can see from a distance that Snowball is trying to swing at Brain with his nunchuck, but as the weapon is very large for his size, he is having difficulty.)_

**Pinky:** _Brain_! Brain! Look what I've got! ZORT! It's the silly ray from that kid's TV show with cute robots in it!

**Brain:** Not _now _Pinky, can't you see I'm being _attacked?_

**Pinky:** But _Brain_, it's that one that blasts bubbles which, when they touch people, make them all happy and silly! Isn't that ga-lorious, Brain?

**Brain:** Yes – erm – _sure Pinky!_ Look I'm kind of in the middle of something so-.

_(Brain, though he is still fighting, pauses and his eyes widen.)_

**Brain:** YES! _Brilliant_! (He looks briefly to Pinky, dodging out of Snowball's way.) Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

**Pinky:** Erm... I think so Brain... But how could you turn over a new leaf, when all the leaves you _could_ turn over would be _dead, _on the ground,and not new _at all_?

_(Brain sighs exasperatedly as he manages to punch Snowball.)_

**Brain:** _No,_ Pinky, use the silly ray on Snowball!

**Snowball:** _WHAT_? NO! I'd lose all sense of control.

_(Snowball drops the nunchuck and starts to back away slowly, his eyes wide with fright. Pinky winks at Snowball and then marches forward, then ready, he presses down continuously on the trigger, so blasting many bubbles at Snowball. Snowball has not moved far back enough, he cannot see where he wants to go as the bubbles surround him and block his vision.)_

**Snowball:** _Noooo!_

**Pinky:** Get _silly_, Snowball! TROZ!

_(Eventually Snowball collapses, his face hitting the floor. Pinky stops the stream of bubbles. He puts down the silly ray and runs with Brain over to Snowball, who is lying exhausted, but unhurt, on the ground.)_

**Brain:** (concernedly) Snowball... Are you – I mean – Can you hear me?

**Snowball:** (whispering) _Brain_?

_(Snowball, with his eyes closed, tries to sit up, but does not quite manage in his first attempt. Brain and Pinky help him and soon he is sitting up, with his paw to his head. He gasps a few times, Pinky and the Brain are silent. We have a quick shot of the other characters in the room, silently peering downwards, with anticipation. The Lobe and Freakazoid, on the other side of the room, have stopped fighting and are also peering down curiously from behind the three rodents. The camera then focuses on Snowball, Pinky and the Brain.)_

**Snowball:** (whispering) Goodness me Brain... Pinky... Did I really have those thoughts? (He looks shocked.) I am _ashamed_ of myself. To think that I would have hated you _so much_, would have wanted to take over the world _so much_.

**Brain:** I don't get it, Snowball. I thought that er – weapon – was supposed to make people _silly_.

**Snowball:** Oh but I _changed_ the chemical formula so that... _Oh_.. How _evil it was..._

**Pinky:** How evil was what, Snowball?

**Snowball:** I changed the chemicals in the bubbles so that it would make people... _Soft... _ So... (He wipes away a tear.) I could destroy them more easily, as they would have _no _inclination to fight whatsoever.

**Brain:** (his eyebrows raised) Clever. Why didn't you use it on me before?

**Snowball:** (chuckling) I didn't want to look like a babyish hamster with a robot child's _silly ray,_ in front of my FBI Agents. Funny, how I thought back then.

_(The tied up FBI Agents nod, amazed at Snowball's transformation.)_

**Freakazoid:** That was only a few seconds ago!

**Snowball:** Yes. And now my head is lighter and clearer. I see only peace and love. I can feel the art, the morale, the _joy_ of this world _more _than I ever did before.

**Brain:** I'm tempted to barf, but I am _so glad_ you're no longer evil. (He cannot help smiling.)

_(The camera zooms to the Lobe's face, so we see his pulsing, calculating, formulating "brain head." We then hear the Lobe's thoughts.)_

**The Lobe:** _Peace, love, being able to feel the art, morale, the joy of this world. And being able to have a LIGHTER and CLEARER head! I've been so stressed out these last few months, maybe it's because I'm so _evil!_ Hmm..._

_(We have a less close view of the Lobe, with Freakazoid, Snowball, Brain and Pinky in the shot as well.)_

**The Lobe:** Give me that _silly ray_!

_(We see the Lobe running around the characters and pouncing on the ray as if he were a fox and the silly ray were a rabbit. He clasps it in his shaking hands for a few seconds, before turning it around so it faces his chest and pressing down on the trigger. After a stream of bubbles, he falls back, shocked by the force of it all.)_

**The Lobe:** (Groaning) _Pinky... _Shoot me... With... Bubbles.

**Pinky:** (A little concernedly) Righty-ho Lobe!

_(Pinky runs over, holds up the silly ray and blasts the Lobe with it a few more times. The Lobe recovers a little more quickly than Snowball did and everyone again watches with anticipation.)_

**The Lobe:** Ha ha, you're _right_, Snowball! It _does_ make your head feel lighter and clearer! I _can _feel the art, the joy, the _kindness _of the world! Let's do _good things_ for people together! Let's make _paper clocks_ for people in Africa! Let's raise money for wildlife trusts! Let's go to an acting school and become _wonderful_ Shakesperian _actors_!

**Snowball:** I'm drawing the line at Shakespeare, but I'm sure London would appreciate your talent, Lobe.

**The Lobe:** (Smiling) Oh _thank you_, Snowball. (He runs over to Pinky, picks him up and hugs him.) _Thank you,_ Pinky, for finding that _marvellous_ silly ray!

_(Pinky groans and his eyeballs pop out a little, showing the force of the Lobe's hug. When the Lobe puts him down again Pinky sighs with relief.)_

**The Lobe:** _Thank you _Freakazoid, for _never quite_ killing me all those times you saved the world from my _hideously evil_ clutches-.

_(The camera's view is obscured by Wakko's face.)_

**Wakko Warner: **Are you bored of this spoof of hideously soft post-villains? Well, the writers _did_ write and create a storyboard for an alternate scene where the villains _stay bad_, but the budget... And the prediction of the possible effect on you little kids who are watching the Movie, changed our minds and so _this_ is the ending you're getting.

_(Wakko Warner whizzes off screen, moving music starts and the camera cuts to a scene with the Lobe and Snowball doing various things for the world, firstly collecting charity money in the streets, secondly helping school-children with making paper clocks for children in Africa, thirdly we see Snowball having set up a book group for fellow hamsters, then, fourthly we see the Lobe acting Hamlet in the Globe Theatre in London, the camera then cuts to the scene where all the actors bow and Snowball, in the audience, claps and cheers for his friend. The moving music stops and the camera cuts to a shot of Freakazoid against a blue screen.)_

**Freakazoid:** Hey fellas, this is how the Lobe and Snowball cheesily helped the world after the battle ended. But now, back to what happened to the other characters!

_(There is cheerful music as Freakazoid does his characteristic "whooshing" off screen and the camera fades to black.)_


	12. Chapter 12

**Pinky and the Brain: The Movie (Part 12)**

_(Pinky and the Brain are surrounded by all the other characters, who are very excited to see the two lab mice.)_

**Brain:** Wow, believe me, it _is _good to see you all. Even you mushy pre-baddies. (Gesturing to the Lobe and Snowball.)

**Snowball:** Believe me Brain, you'll be glad one day that we're like this.

**Brain:** If as I no longer have to spend my days in a _cage_ with you Snowball, I'll be glad. I do miss those days.

_(Snowball goes over to hug Brain, Brain reluctantly hugs back.)_

**Snowball:** _Oh Brain._ So do _I._

**Mr Sultana Sultana:** Mind if I interrupt here, _Mr Feldman_? I'm in a _very_ confused state right now!

**Brain:** (Ears drooping) _Oh dear..._

**Mr Sultana Sultana:** I thought you two were _humans_, for crying out loud and all that people say! And is Pinky a woman or a man, or rather, a female or male mouse? I cannot tell.

**Pinky:** Whatever you think, Mr Sultana Sultana. To _you_, my friend might as well be Mr Feldman and I might as well be Mrs Feldman. (Clasps hands and blinks in a feminine manner.)

**Mr Sultana Sultana:** Aw Mrs Feldman... I – I...

**Brain:** Never mind, you two, we can discuss it later.

**Wench:** _Yeah,_ we have something _else_ to discuss!

**Brain:** W – we do?

**Wench:** I thought we were gonna see a _proper fight_, not a stupid little one! And the baddies are now _sentimental _good guys! It don't fit right.

**Rags:** Nah, it shouldn't be this way! No _proper_ film has the villains become all _goody-woody_.

**Pinky:** Well _I'm _glad that the Lobe and Snowball have become nice!

**The Lobe and Snowball:** Yes! So am I!

**Rags:** _You're_ the ones who got blasted by that _stupid _silly ray, how would _you two _know?

**Pinky:** You're starting to get on my nerves, Rags! If you don't stop pestering the Lobe and Snowball soon, _I'll_ shoot silly ray bubbles on _you_!

**Rags:** (nervously, backing away) Oh. Ha ha, all right, say no more! (Rushes off, Wench follows.)

**Precious:** _Yes..._ You two little _rats_ run away now. You're making me _very _hungry.

**Wench:** Hey, _watch it_, kitty!

**Rags:** We pack a punch!

**Precious:** Do you want to even _try_ taking me on? Even if I couldn't _catch_ you after you'd _fought_ me, I'd still be able to find and _get you_ by building some kind of vacuum machine, or heat detector, perhaps.

**Wench:** _Big words._ This kitty _is _smart.

**Rags:** (whispering to Wench) Maybe we _should _head off. Intelligent animals are a threat to rats like us, especially when they start _singing_.

_(He looks to Brain, we hear a brief bit of music from The Impossible Scheme. Wench and Rags both sneak off screen. Just then, someone knocks on the door. Dot, who happens to be closest to the door, opens it and finds that it is Sergeant Cosgrove.)_

**Dot Warner:** Why _Cosgrove!_ What a _wonderful_ surprise!

_(Dot jumps up into Sergeant Cosgrove's arm and kisses him on the cheek, then jumps down again.)_

**Sergeant Cosgrove:** (smiling) She's the nicest girl I've met for a _long_ time.

**Freakazoid:** Cosgrove! Great to see you buddy! Do you mind if we go to the mud baths _later_? The party's not yet over and I kind of like being here at the moment. Despite all the _mushy sentimentality_.

**Sergeant Cosgrove:** Fine with me. Glad to see everything's worked out well, otherwise I'd have seen carnage.

**Wakko, Yakko and Dot Warner:** _EEEUUW!_

**The Lobe:** _Yes indeed,_ Cosgrove. Thanks indirectly to Snowball, _I now _am _officially_ no longer a villain.

**Sergeant Cosgrove:** Hmm. That's a turn up for the books.

**Freakazoid:** (bending down and whispering to viewers) Except there are _no books_, kids. No-one could be bothered to even make a _novelization_ of this picture!

_(There is a pause. The camera cuts to Yakko Warner.)_

**Yakko Warner:** Hey, we've almost got a full house here!

**Wakko Warner:** Yeah... _Almost_... You know who I wish was here?

_(Suddenly the door opens and none other than the Nurse enters.)_

**Nurse:** Did I miss the fight? I've been so busy with saving the world that I only heard a few hours ago! Snowball didn't seem to notice me escaping yesterday.

_(There is a pause as Yakko's and Wakko's eyes turn into love hearts and their shirts flap at the seams like birds' wings as they "fly" over to the visitor.)_

**Wakko and Yakko Warner:** _HELLOOOO NURSE!_

**Brain, Dot, Billie, Precious and Phar Fig Newton:** (although PFN just whinnies) _Boys!_

**Dr Scratchansniff:** _Nurse_! It's so good to see you! How is saving the world going?

**Nurse:** _Oh_, I'm just helping the world with the polio vaccinations.

**Snowball:** Polio... Of course! _Polio!_ Bill Grates could help to eradicate polio all over the world!

**The Lobe:** I might _just_ have to donate to the cause as well. It's a most terrible disease.

**Nurse:** Wait... I thought you two were _villains?_ And giving money for polio vaccinations... That's not the kind of thing Bill Grates would normally do, is it? And how would _you_ know what he does?

**Snowball:** (pauses) Erm... As it turns out, _I_, technically, am Bill Grates. He's basically a hamster in the suit of a man. But I'm no longer evil, Nurse. I've been blasted with a silly ray gun, which has helped me to see the light, literally.

**Dr Lobe:** Snowball and I are going to spread joy and kindness across the world, just like you seem to be doing. Tell me, where have you been working?

**Nurse:** Well, last Monday, I went to India and-.

_(The Nurse and the Lobe keep talking and the camera cuts to Brain.)_

**Brain:** This could go on for a while. Remind me, Pinky, when the Nurse has finished her _lovely_ conservation with Brain-head, for her to give me some anti-vomiting pills.

**Pinky:** Oh _Brain,_ it's so _sweet_ though! I can imagine the Nurse and the Lobe having such _lovely times_ together!

_(Brain's eyes widen with shock momentarily.)_

**Brain:** Pinky, I don't even want to _contemplate_ what it would be like if the Nurse and the Lobe went out together. That makes me want to visit the restroom even _more_.

**Pinky:** (shocked) Oh Brain! I didn't mean it like that! I imagined them more like us two, being _great_ friends and helping to save the world.

_(Brain drags his paw across his face in irritation.)_

**Brain:** Technically, Pinky, as you should _well_ have comprehended by 2011, we are _not_ saving-.

**Larry:** Hey, when am _I_ being included in this picture?

**Brain:** (scratches his head) Hmm. Good question Larry. You do seem to be a random occurence in this whole Movie.

**Dot:** Like all of us? Really, Brain, we were _captured_ and taken here by Snowball! We're not random.

**Pinky:** But I am! Ha ha HA HA, NARF!

**Brain:** Agreed, Pinky. And... Larry.

**Larry:** Thank you. It feels nice being acknowledged.

**Brain:** (Begrudgingly) Hmm.

_(We hear several muffled voices calling out. All the characters look around to see the FBI Agents wriggling about in their trussed up states.)_

**Freakazoid:** Ah. Kind of forgot about them. Brain, shall I send them to a chiropractor?

**Brain:** Nah, they look to be more in need of psychiatrists. No sane man would _ever_ work for a psychotic hamster.

**Snowball:** I agree, Brain. No-one would have worked for a sad, megalomaniac hamster like me. Except for the fact that I paid them with much of Bill Grates' money.

**Brain:** (pauses) Oh. I see. Still, take them to a psychiatrist. No sane man would risk life and limb to fight a mouse with a lightsaber and David's slingshot.

**Freakazoid:** (smiling) You got it!

_(Freakazoid picks up the four Agents with both hands and throws them out of the open door. They fly unrealistcally through the air until they land in a psychiatrist's office. The psychiatrist runs over to them and unties them.)_

**Psychiatrist (portrayed by a cartoon Christine Baranski):** Now men, what seems to be the problem?

**First Agent:** It was a nightmare! The mice! The weird black and white animals! THE INTERSPECIES ROMANCE!

**Second Agent:** Between a _mouse_ and a _HORSE_!

**Third Agent:** And that hamster... He's acting like the _Dalai Lama_ now, when before he was more like _Al Capone!_ The soft baddie premise in this film don't fit right!

_(Freakazoid briefly pops up in front of the camera, unseen by the FBI Agents and the Pyschiatrist.)_

**Freakazoid:** _Hey_, nothing in this part of the film is _meant _to fit right! That was the _whole point _of _Pinky and the Brain, Animaniacs_ and _Freakazoid_! _On_ with the craziness!

_(Freakazoid pops off camera.)_

**Fourth Agent:** And there was a man with a _brain_ for a _head_ and a guy with _blue skin_! It was _terrible_!

**Psychiatrist:** (pauses before speaking) Now, are you sure you four haven't just come from a cheap reality drama featuring Halloween costumes and Disney animals?

**Agents:** I – I... (They look at each other and blink) We're very sure. It _was _real.

**Psychiatrist:** Yeah. Sure. I'm going to have to do a _great deal of work_ on the _lot _of you.

_(The camera cuts back to Bill Grates' house. Snowball has brought out a priceless manuscript and is showing it to everyone around him.)_

**Snowball:** The Codex Leicester is among one of my most _treasured_ possessions. Written by none other than Leonardo!

**Pinky:** NARF. And that's _not even_ the _ninja turtle!_

**Snowball:** (kindly) No Pinky. Leonardo da Vinci _himself_! The painter of the Mona Lisa, the designer of the first helicopter-.

**Wakko Warner:** Oh, we all know about that one, don't we Brain?

**Brain:** Don't remind me. At least I became Prime Minister in that feature film.

**Snowball:** To finish... _This work_ doesn't belong _here_, where no-one can see it and gaze at its intelligently written, beautiful pages.

**Dr Lobe:** Are you going to donate it? The Smithsonian, or else the British Museum, for example, are likely to _pay much_ for a work like that.

**Snowball:** _Exactly._ And I _would_ ask for the money, even if it's not really according to my character, as I plan to use it to _combat_ the _debilitating disease_ polio!

**Everyone:** (lifting up their arms into the air like in the _Animaniacs_ intro) HOORAY!

_(Suddenly, we hear running in the other room and see as someone enters through the door from the prison room. The "someone" is Regis Philbin, bending down and panting.)_

**Regis Philbin:** I just managed to break out of that cell. What have I missed?

_(Pinky's eyes dazzle with amazement and bright music plays.)_

**Pinky:** REGIS _PHILBIN_!

**Regis Philbin:** Pinky! Glad to see you here safe and sound, it seems!

_(Pinky excitedly runs to Regis Philbin, laughing and saying "NARF". Regis Philbin scoops him up and Pinky hugs his wrist in a friendly manner.)_

**Pinky:** What are _you_ doing here?

**Snowball:** Er... Pinky. May I interject here? I know this may make you upset, but in my less wonderful state of mind, I persuaded Regis Philbin to do the insane and come and work for me as my FBI Agent. So he _was_ against you Pinky, but then he revolted, so I locked him up in my dungeon. I'm sorry Pinky.

**Pinky:** Aw, it doesn't matter Snowball! If Regis Philbin revolted, which would also make him _disgusting_, I still really like him!

**Brain:** (whose face is green and who is groaning) Now I _really _need to go to the restroom!

_(He runs off, the other characters pretend nothing has happened.)_

**Regis Philbin:** I like you too, Pinky (raising his voice) and you, Brain!

_(The camera shows a view of the door.)_

**Brain:** (with a muffled voice) Er- Thanks! (Groans) Appreciate it!

**Nurse:** Are you in need of medical assistance, Brain?

**Brain:** (coming back in the room) Thanks for the offer, Nurse, but I was actually considering going after those FBI Agents and visiting a psychiatrist, although I reckon I'll be fine for a few more minutes.

**Regis Philbin:** I – was just about to say something, Brain. I – I don't mean to brag, but I _was_ the one who let out Dr Scratchansniff, Yakko, Wakko and Dot so they could warn you of the dangers of the cameras as you come here.

**Brain:** You _did_? _Thank you_ Regis Philbin, you are, literally, a life-saver.

**Regis Philbin:** Aw, don't thank me. I feel like I've become a millionaire tonight.

**Snowball:** Speaking of millionaires, I could imagine you on that TV show, the one where people can become millionaires if they answer questions correctly.

**Regis Philbin:** Really? Ah, maybe. That would be nice.

_(The camera cuts to a scene where all the characters are leaving and going their separate ways. Brain and Pinky have ordered a taxi to the airport, so they can go back to Acme Labs. Dr Scratchansniff walks up to them.)_

**Precious:** (Talking to herself) Ah... _So good_ to be going _home!_ Billy'll be missing me _so much_, the silly lad.

**Dr Scratchansniff:** Oh Pinky and zhe Brain, it was so good to see you and to witness your saving zhe day. It's a shame we won't be seeing you back in time.

**Brain:** I'm sure you're aware that I appreciated Snowball's offer for us all to go back in time to the 1990's, but I've found... Let's just say... _Opportunities_ in this age. I'd rather not miss out.

**Dr Scratchansniff:** Well, when we next see you, we'll be _wrinkiles_! (He sniffs) OK, bye again!

**Pinky and the Brain:** Bye!

_(The Taxi door closes and the car drives off. The camera then fades to black.)_


	13. Chapter 13

**Pinky and the Brain: The Movie (Part 13)**

_(Pinky and the Brain are back in Acme Labs. The Brain is on the Apple computer, excitedly typing into the keyboard.)_

**Brain:** So, Pinky, we both have Headbook, Tweeter and Vlog accounts and posts, on which we have gone through the mindnumbing process of telling the world about ourselves, but also, at the same time _encouraging _people to follow us!

**Pinky:** _E-_GAD! Now that you're on Tweeter, more people are following you than have _ever _followed you before!

**Brain:** A rather sad statement, my friend, but also excitingly true. With at least 1000 people viewing my personal data across the globe, we have a good headstart for us to introduce a _viral_!

**Pinky:** _E-_GAD Brain, isn't that a bit infectious?

**Brain:** (sighing) _No, _Pinky. Contrary to what _you_ might think, a viral is _actually _a promotional message that is sent over the Internet to random people, something that I _have _explained to you before, Pinky.

**Pinky:** Like _many_ complicated things you've tried to explain to me, I _have _forgotten.

**Brain:** And like everything that is _not _your mind, this is clear as crystal to me, Pinky. But do you at least understand the _importance_ of this viral, Pinky?

**Pinky:** (scratching his head) Erm... It will be of _Earnest_ Importance and Colin Firth, Rupert Everrett, Frances O' Connor and Reese Witherspoon will be involved?

**Brain:** (Growling, he hops down and grips Pinky's mouth.) _Now Pinky,_ let's not get into the realms of ludicrous insanity, shall we? (He lets go, allowing Pinky to speak.)

**Pinky:** Oh _no_ Brain, the Realms of Ludicrous Insanity don't sound like a _nice place_ at all. The word _Realms_ sounds quite _scary_.

**Brain:** (Rolling eyes) I'm sure it does, Pinky. And once we've popped on a submarine to travel down to its ludicrous depths, we can visit the land of German gummi bears where the gummy worms _do _live in peace with the marshmallow chicks.

**Pinky:** HAHA HA HA, NARF! That's the _maddest_ thing I've _ever _heard you say, _Brain_! I always _thought _you'd be crazy and looney _as well_ as _smart_!

_(Stumped, Brain's eyes widen in an almost childish look. He then robotically plods back to the keyboard.) _

**Brain:** This _viral _will be _important,_ because it will spread my message to thousands, _millions_ of people around the world, who would not have otherwise heard of me, so they can then decide to dedicate their life to worshipping _me._

**Pinky:** _Oh._ So this viral is _as_ important as all the other devicey-thingys and contraptiony-whats-it's you've used that _haven't_ helpd you take over the world in the last few years?

_(Brain shakes and growls, deciding to ignore Pinky. Quicky, returning back to his normal state of mind, he uploads a few specialist website design software pages and excitedly types in series of computer codes into the keyboard. He presses the ENTER key and pauses, panting with thrill.)_

**Brain:** (In a happy mood) Anyway, let us press on. Pinky, can you please be quiet for a few seconds? I'm going to do a _very important _voice recording and it's_ vital_ that your corrupting sound waves _do not_ interfere with the broadcast.

**Pinky:** Righty-ho Brain, you won't hear a _sound _from me, NARF!

_(Brain looks back to the screen. Dramatic music begins and he opens a GarageBand window, then selecting a Voice Recording option from a drop-down menu. He clears his throat just before he presses on the red R button.)_

**Brain:** You are not the only one to have received this viral. I have not just picked you out of _millions_ because I used Spyware to investigate your Headbook likes. I have selected you _as well _as _millions _of _other people_ to give you this message. _I am Overlord Brain. _You are under _my _control. You will do as I-.

**Pinky:** HAHA HA HA, NARF!

_(We see that Pinky is laughing at a video of a man on a a Skipe video on a Laptop the mouse is using. The man is doing impressions of none other than Brain. While Brain growls with anger and marches over to the laptop, the man speaks to Pinky.)_

**Man on Skipe:** You know, I think your friend is _seriously cool_. There aren't many lab mice who I would respect if they took over the world, but _he _is _definitely_ one of them!

**Brain:** PINKY! What did I tell you about staying quiet when I was doing voice recording. Why do you _never _do as I say, you _stupid, stupid _mouse?

_(Brain reaches behind him and grabs a stylus, which he bashes Pinky over the head with.)_

**Man on Skipe:** (crossly) _Hey,_ what was _that _about?

**Brain:** What does it matter to _you_?

**Man on Skipe:** IT MATTERS _EVERYTHING_, _Overlord Brain_.

**Brain:** (embarrassedly) You – you read my _Headbook profile?_

**Man on Skipe:** _And _your Tweeter account _and _your Vlog posts! And now, when I connect to one of the computers at Acme Labs, _this _is what I _see_?

**Brain:** (pauses) Yes. As you may know from my Vlog posts, my associate Pinky is a mouse whom I am constantly needing to discipline.

**Man on Skipe:** But did he do anything _wrong_? _Hmm_? Come on Brain, _seriously_. It doesn't take Stephen Fry to realize that there's something unpleasantly _mean _and _bitter_ about you.

**Brain:** (Desperately) W- Why – _No_, of _course not_. It's... It's just a joke Pinky and I do... Er... Right Pinky?

**Pinky:** Erm... Not really Brain. Usually you conk me on the head when you're irritated with me or if I say something stupid, TROZ.

_(Brain shakes with anger.)_

**Man on Skipe:** _Right, _I've had _enough_ of this! You're a _failure_ Brain, a _failure_!

**Brain:** (Sadly) _What_? (Angrily) I mean, _what?_

**Man on Skipe:** Don't forget this _Brain_, you think you're going to take over the world with your intelligent Internet usage and leadership skills, but I'll make sure that _that's _not going to happen anytime soon.

_(Dramatic music builds up. More lines form in Brain's forehead.)_

**Brain:** Wait – I-.

_(We see on the screen that the user, who is called AlbinomicefanTHX=1138, has ended the Skipe call. Brain's ears droop and his eyes become wide with sadness and desperation.)_

**Brain:** (Very sadly) After... After not having tried to take over the world for so long... And because this social network idea seemed so _good_... I... I didn't think...

**Pinky:** (Sympathetically) Oh _Brain_, don't feel _too _sad, it's not your fault. It's just one of those unhappy coincidences all over again.

**Brain:** (Eyebrows rising) Sometimes I underestimate the intelligence that _does_ occupy your cerebellums. Anyway, ahem, let us look on the positive side. There is a huge chance that the efforts of _this_ man will be in vain, that he does not update his posts at the right time, that he is not enthusiastic enough and that the majority of my followers and friends will still follow me _as _their _leader_! Now, _please _be quiet, Pinky, while I make this viral recording.

**Pinky:** OK Brain, FJORD! This time I _will _be quiet, I _promise!_

**Brain:** OK.

_(Brain types in a few words and presses a few icons on his cursor, then clears his throat and begins recording again, this time, more eager and ready than before.)_

**Brain:**You are not the only one to have received this viral. I have not just picked you out of _millions_ because I used Spyware to investigate your Headbook likes. I have selected you _as well _as_ millions _of _other people_ to give you this message. _I am Overlord Brain. _You are under _my _control. You will do as _I _say. For _I _shall be _ruler _of the _world!_ Please tell all your friends and make sure they tell _their friends_ that _Brain_ will make a difference to the running of this wonderful, green and blue _earth_.

_(Brain pauses and presses the "End Recording" button. He looks back at Pinky for feedback.)_

**Pinky:** (who has been sitting by his laptop with a box of popcorn, wipes a tear from his eye) Oh – Sniff – I was truly moved, Brain. Touching and yet persuasive at the same time.

**Brain:** _Perfect_! That is _exactly _what I had intended, _Pinky_!

_(We see a view of the clock in Acme Labs, which says: 21:00. The camera cuts to show us a new time: 0:00. At the same time, Brain, who has hidden a key made from an old floppy disk under his bed, walks over with it to the cage door and frees himself. He then runs over to the computer and switches it on. As soon as the main screen comes up, he accesses the Internet and checks his Headbook page. Brain sees he has 100 notifications. He clicks on the list and browses through the first few that have come up. We see a few of them: "Why have you done this, Brain?" "We trusted u man! D:" "Someone's told us what you're REELLY like 2 PINKY" and "Im defriending you and anyone who' a MAN oughta be defriending you you big-head!")_

**Brain:** (In shock) _What_?

_(We see him check his friend list and he only has twenty friends left.)_

**Brain:** (Trembling) Well that's six hundred and fifty-two of them gone.

_(Brain then checks his Tweeter page. His eyes widen with sadness as he sees he only has ten Tweeter followers left.)_

**Brain:** _NO! I HAD TWELVE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-THREE FOLLOWERS! _(Starts crying)

**Pinky:** (Running out of the cage) _Brain? _What's going on? _Brain?_ _BRAIN! _(He runs over to Brain and hugs him.) OH BRAIN! Why did that _stupid _Skipe user have to badmouth you? _Why, WHY?_

_(Brain silently stands up and gravely looks at Pinky. He then touches Pinky's chin in a fatherly manner, then sighs as his head lowers.) _

**Brain:** It would have happend sooner or later, Pinky. _Every_ celebrity, having or not having a profile on the Internet, has their moment where their fans are not kind to them. As much as it pains me, Pinky, _yet again_, we have to wait for a _new _opportunity, a _new _method, of securing the position of my dreams. Come, Pinky, it is past midnight. We'll need our rest if we are going to work hard again tomorrow night.

**Pinky:** (following Brain back to the cage) Why Brain, what are we going to do tomorrow night?

**Brain:** (irritatedly) You _do _know this, Pinky. It's the same thing we are _doomed _to do _every night_. The same thing we do every night, Pinky, is to _try _to _take over the WORLD!_

_(The camera zooms out from Pinky and the Brain. As a group of singers sing a finishing song, we see the interiror, then the exterior of Acme Labs, then the interior of a nursing home where Dr Scratchansniff, the Lobe and Snowball are being looked after by the Nurse, then we see a view of several cities, then the whole of America, then the world, spinning around on its axis. After a few moments of this, the camera fades to black.)_

**Singers:** (as camera zooms out) They're Pinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain – Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain – Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain – Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, BRAIN!

_(Some of the credits roll, until the camera fades and we come onto a dark scene with Pinky and the Brain.)_

**Brain:** Right, Pinky, we are only a few minutes' away from our first live performance of _Brain's Bolero_!

**Pinky:** Now remind me Brain, what _is _Brain's Bolero?

**Brain:** It is _my _version of the famous classical piece by Maurice Ravel. It is already a _very _recognisable tune, it was in the winning routine of Dorvill and Tean-

**Pinky:** _And_ it was in _Cigimons_ and _10_! NARF!

**Brain:** _Must _you make references to such trivial matters, Pinky? But yes, it is well known in many forms. People smile when they hear this tune, it's something _comfortable, pleasing_...

**Pinky:** Like Larry King?

_(Brain looks surprisedly at Pinky for a few seconds and blinks before continuing.)_

**Brain:** Never mind. Any second now, _as we rehearsed_, we will sing a hypnotic tune to _Bolero _that will make people worship... _ME_!

_(We hear clapping and Pinky and the Brain walk over to a lit stage to the side of them. We see them on the stage and have a brief view of an enthusiastic audience. The two mice both bow slightly and the music begins. Brain starts singing along with the oboe.)_

**Brain:** I, a diminutive white mouse called Brain, will be one glorious day, leader of all this giant earth!

**Pinky:** So please obey him now with lots of mirth, and he'll make pink tutus!

_(Brain mumbles: "How subtle, Pinky.")_

**Brain:** I will start a very successful, good education system,

**Pinky:** To teach us all a-about the Bra-ai-ai-ain!

**Brain:** Pinky, no time for repetition, ignore him, he tends to be a cerebral pain, yes you'd learn the ways and wants of the Brain.

_(Brain and Pinky sway side to side to the music until they start singing again, in a hypnotic, straight faced manner.)_

**Pinky:** You'd learn the meaning of all Brain's great big words, which I cannot understand, I just start pond'ring silly stuff.

**Brain:** But when you learn them you will be a man, more worthy of being here!

**Pinky:** And... To all of the lab mice out there, the Brain would let you go free, to live in such happy harmony, oh happy, in fun fun silly willy land!

**Brain:** No Pinky, you don't _quite_ seem to understand, but then folks, with my rule, he'll get smarter!

_(Pinky dances more madly this time, knocking over a few ornmanents that have been placed a little randomly on stage, but he comes back unscathed in time for the next "verse".)_

**Brain:** When I watch the news or read the paper, I just tear up so much it's crazy.

**Pinky:** Because he just wants the world to be a better place with happier people and lab mice!

**Brain:** So, please understand, I'm not so megalomaniacal, oh it's really thoughtful to people and it's so ethical, I want to save, our verdant world, from the horrible people!

_(Pinky is about to jump off madly again, but Brain grabs him by the nose and whispers, just before the next verse, "We're nearing the finale Pinky, remember, DICTION and DELIVERY.")_

**Pinky:** I think the greatest Overlord of earth would be – my friend the Brain!

**Brain:** Thank you Pinky. Listen to my voice, look at my high strength, hear and learn my reasoning about the ways things are! You just can't resist the sound of my voice and persuasion.

**Pinky:** No! You cannot be hypnotized by Brain without feeling happy!

_(In the background we hear Brain look surprised, wave his arms and call "No! PINKY!")_

**Pinky:** Because, Brain is a...

_(We still hear Brain running around in the background, trying to quieten Pinky, saying, "These are not the right lyrics," "Don't you remember the words?" "Why must you have the IQ of a SAFETY PIN?")_

**Pinky:** Cuddly soft small albino ball of fur, who's tried to persuade all you human beings, that he deserves to be the world leader, several times, all his failed plans, thrown in the can, barely began, _(Brain shouts "BEGUN!")_ Isn't that sad?

_(Pinky jumps dramatically on an item of the stage as he sings each line, knocking them over or aside as he does so.)_

**Pinky:** Brain can't-

**Brain:** Don't say it!

**Pinky:** Take o'er

**Brain:** There's still a _chance_!

**Pinky:** The world!

**Brain:** Embrassing...

**Pinky:** He's failed!

_(Pinky's just jumped very high and realizes that he's created a hole in the stage, underneath a carpet.)_

**Pinky:** Oops! NARF!

_(As we hear the end drum roll, Pinky jumps onto the hole, so the carpet, on which all of the items and Brain are sitting, come crashing down below the stage with Pinky. We see the curtain drop and people mumbling. We hear a few individuals say: "That was a mess," "Nothing like the version on ice," "Imagine if singing mice ACTUALLY took over the world?" The camera then cuts to below the stage, where Brain is stumbling from underneath a table, with a very rugged apperance.)_

**Pinky:** Hmm, looks like people aren't really into Classical music then, are they?

**Brain:** We may well have _revived _the taste for Classical music _and _hypnotized people into becoming my subjects if _you _hadn't changed the lyrics and gone about changing the _prop placements!_

**Pinky:** (Awkwardly) Ahem, sorry Brain. I'll try and be a bit more careful next time.

**Brain:** _Yes,_ do that. Now, let's go back to the Lab and prepare for tommorrow night.

**Pinky:** Why, what are we going to do tomorrow night? Re-write and show a new version of _Pellicans et Melon Sides_ by Debby-see?

**Brain:** (sighing exasperatedly) _NO,_ Pinky! Same thing we do _every single night,_ _TRY _to take over the _WORLD!_ And study more influential Classical pieces.

_(We see the mice walking out of a theatre door and we hear people singing the theme tune again, but the first line follows the Bolero tune.)_

**Singers:** (as camera zooms out) They're Pinky and Brain they will take over the world..! They're Pinky – they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, _Brain!_

**WOOOOOHOOOO! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D**

**What an adventure!**

**I've enjoyed writing this _soo _much!**

**First off, thank you _so much_ to those imdb users who have been following my work. MANY thank you's to DelGriffith, for getting me started off with the whole idea! You've given me much inspiration which really got me going and it was great chatting to a PatB fan for the first time. :D Also some HUMONGOUS thank you's to Midwinter_Gates, who has given me TONS of extra ideas and has been a faithful critic, observer and fellow PatB enthusiast along the way. :D**

**On Fanfiction itself, thank you to DarkFoxTailz for reminding me of important characters I'd forgotten to add, including Romy, Rags, Wench and Mr Sultana Sultana!**

**THANK YOU to EVERYONE who has enjoyed my work! :D It's great to know that, as well as having enjoyed writing it myself, others enjoy reading the Movie Script.**

**Also, most importantly, thank you to the creators, voice actors and celebrities featured on _Pinky and the Brain, Animaniacs_ and _Freakazoid_! :D :D Without you, _nothing_ about this Movie Script would have _ever_ come to be. I love those three shows more than I can say and I almost feel embarrassed to know that I have even _dared _to copy the excellence of their script writing, storylines and characters.**

**So, with a very wet hankie (Sniff) and tearful eyes, I leave my completed script to the view of the world.**

**OR WILL I?**

**YES, I _WILL..._**

**And without any questionable inferences, _Goodnight everybody_!**


End file.
